Blood of the Covenant (bxb)

Chapter Three: Optimism

"Your dad's a bro," Julia tells me as I shut the door to my room.

I tell her the truth. There are so many truths I can't tell her, so I feel like I owe her this one. "He doesn't like sleeping in the bed when my mom's away," I say. "So he sleeps on the couch. He'd rather have us in here than himself in there."

Julia pauses as I turn to her. "You ever think you'll love someone like that?" she asks. "So much you can't sleep without them?"

Another person might resent the implication that she doesn't already love me like that, but I know her better. I know what she means. She is talking about the deep, complete, spiritual love my parents have for one another. Julia doesn't know this, but of course, my parents are perfect for each other because they are soulmates. When my father turned eighteen, he received a mate bond with my mother. I want to tell her that by this time tomorrow, we will have the same thing. But I can't.

"I think I'm getting there," I say, walking up to her. I pull her in for a long kiss, soaking in the feeling of her soft skin against mine. Even with my eyes closed, she is beautiful. I'm so, so in love.

"First," she says, leaning back, holding a finger to my chest.

"Already got them," I say, nodding to my dresser.

"What?" she asks.

"Condoms?" I ask, now wondering if I'm an idiot.

She laughs. "No." She rests her hands on her hair. "You have to help me get the nine thousand bobby pins out of my hair."

I laugh, too. She sits on my desk chair as we search her hair for the carefully camouflaged pins, delicately pulling each one out. We chat about the dance as both of us search her fine blonde strands for the pins. She had a mini pack of makeup wipes in her little purse, and works the paint off of her face with that. Without really thinking, I take off my suit.

"Ethan," she whispers as I'm hanging up the suit in my closet. I turn to her to watch her smile shyly as she unzips the dress, letting it fall to her knees, before gracefully stepping out of it.

I sigh. She's just so perfect. Her eyes are ringed with the darkness of makeup that the wipes couldn't completely remove, making her gaze look sultry and sexy. Her curled hair is gorgeously messy. She's incredible.

I take off my undershirt as I step toward her, pulling her body against mine. She has confided in me that she deals with a lot of body insecurity because she is on the curvier side. When we are intimate, I'm always careful to show love to the parts of her she hates. I snake my hand from her tummy to her hip before reaching down to grab her thigh with my other hand. I know she will never believe me no matter how many times I tell her, but I think she is perfect.

We are careful to be completely silent. Thankfully, neither of us makes much noise in bed. The packhouse has been reinforced with soundproofing in the walls and an advanced ventilation system to make sure the sounds and smells don't overwhelm us. Without those measures, the good ears and noses of my pack would make living here hell. But thankfully, what happens between us underneath my covers belongs to no one but us.

She cuddles with her head on my chest afterward. I know she hates this pose. It's hard on her neck. But both of are sleepy, satisfied, and overwhelmingly in love. Everything seems perfect in this moment. I trail my fingers down a lock of her hair as she drifts to sleep.

I look over at my alarm clock. It's past midnight. Legally, I am now eighteen. But I was born at 10:06 AM. That is when I will truly be eighteen. That's when I'll get my mate bond. Just ten short hours and Julia, with all of her beauty, will know everything. She will accept me, I know. I think she knows there is more to this house, and more to me, than I let on. She will be too satisfied that her suspicions were right to be angry about me lying to her.

I let the daydreams continue. I bet she'll ask to see my wolf form immediately. She won't be scared. She was raised beside my pack, and knows the forests nearly as well as we do. She won't be scared at all. She'll probably ask how soon she can be turned.

The thought makes me smile.

After an hour, it is clear that I will not fall asleep easily tonight. I lean over to Julia, who has moved onto her side, and hug her gently as I whisper in her ear.

"I can't sleep," I say. "I'm going to take a walk. I'll be back soon."

"Be safe," she whispers sleepily, looking back at me. In the moonlight from my window, she smiles. "Happy birthday, baby."

I press a long kiss to her lips. She falls back asleep as I dress myself in pajamas. I tuck the covers around her and slip out into the living room.

My dad slumbers on the couch, no blanket covering him. The newscast is still playing. I pause to grab the throw blanket off of the back of the recliner and spread it over him. He doesn't stir. I turn off the TV before heading out into the hallway.

I wander for a bit before I end up in the common living room. There is only one occupant.

"Karmen," I say, sitting on the same couch she occupies. She looks over at me as she mutes the TV. She was watching the same news broadcast that played in my living room. Who does Karmen have working the fire? I can't remember.

"Can't sleep?" she asks. Karmen tends to stick to herself, but she has always been kind to me. She's beautiful, with dark skin and long, wavy black hair. At first I thought she was shy, but now I know better. She just doesn't like most people. But she has a tremendous spirit I can't help but admire. She has reduced bullies to tears at school. One time, in middle school, she grabbed the throat of a kid who kept telling everyone on our bus that I made his iPhone in a sweatshop. She yanked down the window of the bus, then shoved his head through the gap at the top. She wasn't planning to push him out, and it would have certainly taken some doing to lift the kid's body and shove his shoulders through the little gap, but he panicked like that was exactly what she was going to do. His friends taunted him about how he screamed for weeks.

"Can't sleep," I say, shaking my head.

"That must be something. I usually sleep like a baby when there's someone with me," Karmen says. Her voice is low and mellow, curling with a light Mexican accent.

I smile, thinking of Julia in my bed. "Yeah. Thanks for letting us use you as an alibi."

She grins. "Same to you."

I look over at her. "What did Mr. Rhodes say?"

Karmen curses in Spanish under her breath. "Same shit you'd expect. I wish Tyler would grow some balls and move out. I'm tired of it."

"Why not tell him the truth?" I ask, gesturing around. "Invite him to live here."

"He won't do it," she says, shaking her head. "If he moves in with me, his parents won't help with his college."

My brow furrows. "He's going to college?"

She nods. "Starting spring term at OSU."

"OSU," I say, thinking of the distance between Roseburg and Corvallis. "That's like... three hours' drive?"

Karmen nods. "We're going to see if the distance thing will work. I'm half-considering just enrolling at OSU, too."

This stuns me. I know Karmen's plan for the future, and college isn't a part of it. Take this gap year, then move to one of the bigger packs in the Portland area. Work for them for more money than she could make here, bask in the Portland nightlife, enjoy living in a big city. It's similar to Julia's plan. I imagine it's the same plan for many wolves our age, even if no one but Karmen is brave enough to say it out loud.

"It'll work out," I say. "Whatever happens, we will all be happy."

Karmen looks over at me. "Optimism is an evolutionary tool to remove innocence."

I stare at her for a moment, waiting for her to laugh.

She doesn't.

After a moment, she does let a small smile flicker over her lips. "Go back to bed, Ethan. Big day tomorrow."

As I slip back to my room, I can't help but wonder what in the hell is happening in Karmen's head.