𝐰𝐡𝐲 // 𝒑𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒄𝒂𝒔𝒑𝒊𝒂𝒏

XVIII. Gwendolyn's Backstory

Gwendolyn woke up feeling a sharp pain in her head, 'One of the many side effects of the medicine,' she thought to herself. She sighed and ignored the pain in her head and got up. She was used to it. Her condition was normal to her. When it comes she'd greet it as an old friend. Gwendolyn walked around the How as she recalled many days and nights that were full of dread and anxiety.

☆☆☆

"Gwendolyn! Wait!" Edmund yelled running after the eleven year old girl, who was his bestest friend and sister.

"Why?! Why should I wait?!" She yelled turning around with tears streaming down her face, "I've spent all my life waiting! Waiting to be happy! Obviously that will never happen."

"W-What?"

"Someone always told me, 'Exhale the past, Inhale the future' where is the future? Where?! There is no future. Alright? I'm stuck in a pit of darkness. There is no hope left in me. I can't exhale the past when I am damaged from it. I have always been the laughingstock. No matter what I did. People can't accept the fact that I'm different. They get annoyed that I give them attitude. You know what? Suck it up! I am fed up from everything and everyone!"

"Gwendolyn please!" Edmund pleaded.

"No. Leave me alone," Gwendolyn snapped. Gwendolyn ran down the hall tears still streaming down her face. She walked outside, the sky was full of stars. She lied down and curled up into the grass. She cried her way to sleep.

☆☆☆

"Peter! Peter! Look what I found!" Young Gwendolyn squealed excitedly.

"Not now, Gwen," Peter replied.

An hour later, young Gwendolyn ran back to her older brother, "May I show you now?" She asked.

"I'm busy now Gwen, I'll call you when I'm done," Peter replied. Truth be told, Peter never called Gwendolyn in to show him whatever it was she wanted to show him.

☆☆☆

"Susan!" Mrs. Pevensie called, "We must go get your new dress for your party!"

"Coming mother!" Susan called back, "Want to come Gwen?"

"I wasn't invited to the party nor shopping," Gwendolyn replied simply.

"But it's your birthday too!" Susan protested.

"Does that make anyone care?" Gwendolyn asked arching an eyebrow. Susan looked at her sympathetically.

"I'm sorry Gwen," Susan apologised. Gwendolyn shrugged. She was used to it. She never got a gift like her siblings, she never had a birthday party. All she had was normal mealtimes, luckily she didn't eat any less than her siblings, and School. Gwendolyn tried to stay on the bright side, but after eight years she was used to it.

☆☆☆

"YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A IDIOT, GWENDOLYN!" Peter yelled.

"DON'T GO PUTTING THE BLAME ON ME! I DID NOTHING! YOU WERE NEVER THERE FOR ME! I WAS ALWAYS BY YOUR SIDE! BUT ME? I WAS ALWAYS BY MYSELF! NO HAD MY BACK! EVERYONE HAD YOURS!" Gwendolyn yelled back.

"Sometimes I wonder how mother never sent you to an orphanage," Peter sneers. Gwendolyn stumbles backwards. A tear runs down her pale cheeks, "I'm sorry. I'll just go," she whispered. She walks out the room. She enters the room she shares with Susan and lies down on her bed. She stays there crying. Lucy enters the room, "Gwendolyn? Dinner is ready," she says softly.

"I'll skip. I'm not hungry anyways," Gwendolyn replies.

"B-But you haven't eaten anything in weeks!"

"I'm not hungry Lucy."

"A-Alright. I'll go. But promise me you'll eat something before you sleep!" Lucy says.

"Alright Lu," Gwendolyn replies softly.

☆☆☆

Blood, everywhere. What was happening to her? Was she dying? Gwendolyn was confused.

☆☆☆

"This condition is permanent," Aslan spoke, "Take the medicine every time and you'll be fine."

The Great Lion hoped she would. Many adults and children passed away from this condition. They bled their way to death. They felt no pain so unbeknownst to them, they were bleeding. They would be lucky if they felt the wet, sticky feeling of their blood. You felt no pain in the wound, rather the medication's side effects.

☆☆☆

Why? Why is life like that? Why is life so cruel to her? Why couldn't she be normal? Have friends? A proper birthday? She will never know how it feels to be loved by someone who Owls, does, stars, libraries, flowers, opals, sapphires, diamonds, the sea, music, art, forests, travelling, campfires, mountains, sunsets.

...She loves those.

"A certain darkness is needed to see the stars."