The Red Fiat
"Watch this," the man said to the mongrel sitting quite happily upon the pavement beside him. "That traffic light is gonna' turn green any minute but y'see that red Fiat? The driver's gonna' stall and the lorry behind isn't gonna' notice 'til he's rear-ended him. The lorry driver's then gonna' get down so he can play merry fucking hell with the driver of the Fiat - he's only just passed his test, bless him! - but before he can and I shit you not, this is where it gets really good, before he can get all irate and whatnot, a flatbed's gonna' come around the corner from the right, going way too fast, and lose its load. The best bit about that, its carrying a fucking upright piano.
"That's right, dog... In about thirteen seconds, that lorry driver is gonna' suffer a bout of death-by-falling-piano."
In truth the dog could not have cared less, and even if he had been able to understand the ramblings of a drunk, homeless man, that would probably have still been the case. He liked the sound of the man's voice though, so he cocked an ear and panted gently.
The lights turned green.
The red Fiat stalled.
The driver of the lorry behind failed to notice, and rear-ended the much smaller vehicle.
Visibly irate, the driver clambered down from his cab as a flatbed truck rounded the corner from the right at a much greater speed than was safe to do so.
The lorry driver was about to bang on the far-side window, most likely to drag the young driver of the much smaller vehicle into the road and probably beat the living piss out of him.
Before he was able to do so though, the strap holding the upright piano on the bed of the flatbed truck snapped, and the combined laws of momentum and gravity resulted in that piano flying off the truck at a rate of knots, crushing the lorry driver between it and the red Fiat.
"Told you," the man said to the mongrel sitting quite happily upon the pavement beside him. "I mean OK that wasn't quite ACME standards, but it'll do."
The dog, still with its ear cocked, inclined its head towards the man. Then, satisfied he was not going to say anything else in the immediate future, shifted position and as dogs are wont to do, proceeded to vigorously lick its testicles.
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Tevun-Krus #100
Science FictionTevun-Krus #100 - The Ultimate Reading Experience! 100 stories, poems and artworks from the best SciFi writers the orange Multiverse has to offer. We got coffee & cookies. We got cake. We got beer. Don't miss out!
