Wolf & Coyote Mercenary Services [Looney Tunes AU]

Episode 8: Let's Rock the Heist

The moon's light breaks through the clouds, shining upon the steel-lined structures of ACME Corporation. Distant splashes of the water resound the salty air as the convertible parks between the warehouses. Ralph, clad in navy-trimmed ninja garments, steps out of the car. Following him out is Pepé, undressed save for a shoulder bag packed with vials, darts, and round bomb shells. Pepé looks perplexed at the wolf's appearance. "You're not seriously wearing that, are you?"

"I ordered the outfit for Wiles, but between the two of us..." Ralph glances at Wile, sitting cross-legged at the hood of the car, and whispers, "I've seen him do stealth, and it ain't pretty."

"I can hear you," Wile E. comments, typing away at the laptop. "But you're right about one thing: as far as sneaking in goes, you two are the best match. Me and Sylv will keep watch and handle the tech stuff. So long as you keep your trackers and earpieces on, you're covered." He pauses to take a gander at Ralph. "You look cool in that outfit. It suits you."

Ralph, blushing profusely, hastily puts on his cowl to hide his face.

"Alright, let's quit flirting and get to it before the guards catch onto us," Sylvester cuts in. "Pepé's the one most experienced with handling chemical substances, so he'll be responsible for retrieving the Illudium. As for you, Ralph... I have a special mission for you."

He pulls Ralph aside, just outside of Pepé's hearing range, and speaks softly. "In the Executive building, there's an office on the HR floor with work records of every ACME employee since the company's creation. Of those employees, one was marked as the project lead in the experimentation of Illudium: Henri La Moufette. Your mission is to go in and dig up what you can of his research. Capisce?"

"Capisce. Though if I can ask..." Ralph thinks back to his conversation with Wile E. on the ferris wheel. It's a stretch, but if he can find the connection between his father and the company... "Did you mean it when you said every employee?"

"Yes, but don't go scouring around carelessly. Just focus on finding La Moufette's files and get out. The faster you finish, the better your chances of not getting caught."

A twinge of doubt crosses the wolf's psyche. Sylvester is not the most stealth-minded and can be prone to making reckless choices, but talking about this mission, one cannot help but feel as if there's some underlying motive behind it. Still, as a self-proclaimed professional, Ralph has to put his faith in his client and not make his doubts vocal. With a grin, he says, "Gotcha. I'll be in and out in a blink. You can count on it." No rules against snatching myself a bonus prize in the meantime, he muses to himself slyly.

By the time they return, Pepé has already unscrewed the gate to the vent. "Wile E. and I were reviewing the blueprints while you were away. I can sneak my way around easily through the vent system. Ralph can go find a window or something."

"Fine by me. But isn't carrying all that stuff," he points at the shoulder sash, "a bit excessive? You're a skunk—you already have built-in tear gas!"

Pepé's brows rise, and then he smiles, as if to save face. "So I do, but I am not made of the stuff. If I run out, I'll need a good two weeks to refill. And alas, I have already used the last of mon odeur in a recent run-in with some delinquents. Luckily, I happen to have this." He whips out a familiar item from his bag: the Zhuge Liang crossbow.

Ralph turns to Wile, stammering, "Wait, that bow... That's my... I mean yours... I mean... I bought it for you!"

"True, but right now, he needs it more than I do," Wile replies matter-of-factly. "As I recall, that suit comes with its own arsenal, no? I trust you can get by."

Tongue-tied in his attempt at a retort, he lets out a huff. "You're right, I can do this. Unlike Monsieur Le Pew, I am a professional thief. I will not throw away my pride cus of some filthy skunk!"

With the discussion at a close, Ralph leaps to the rooftop and Le Pew zips into the vent. As they watch the two disappear, Sylvester asks Wile E. "So how long until we have to bail him out?"

"I'll give him an hour," Wile responds with amusement, "if we're feeling generous."

***

Left. Right. Straight. Left. Left. Right. Straight. Pepé travels through the vents with ease, stopping only to glimpse through the grates, eavesdropping on the activities of ACME's workers. "R&D is just ahead," Wile E.'s voice rings in his earpiece. "The ventilation system ends just short of the target location, so you'll have to find another way in."

The skunk, peering down from overhead, spots a cat scientist exiting from a steel door. He presses against the earpiece, whispering, "Have you shut down the cameras?"

"Just a second." A beeping sound. "Done."

"Good. I'm going in."

The grate unscrewed, it falls to the floor with a loud clack. The cat, their curiosity piqued by the noise, turns back to inspect it. Little do they know, however, is that they're not alone...

A sudden prick to the neck catches their attention. They try to reach for its source, but lose their sensation and fall to the floor instead. Their vision blurs and grows dim as a stark black and white figure appears before them, stooping down to their level. Then they black out.

Pepé drags the dart-drugged cat into a nearby supply closet, where he proceeds to undress them. Before he puts on the lab coat, however, he looks back at his striped tail. This could pose a problem. Looking up, he finds—coincidentally enough—a can of black paint. He briefly questions whether he should slather himself with the stuff, but concludes that he lacks time or patience to deal with the mess.

Approaching the steel door, he encounters an oversight on his part. "This door uses an iris scanner," he whispers into the earpiece. "I can't get in."

"I'll see what I can do," Wile E.'s voice replies.

A moment later, there's a burst of static, and a different, but familiar voice speaks into Pepé's earpiece. "Try it anyway. What's the worst that could happen?"

Pepé raises a brow in confusion. What could that cat be thinking? Still, when he stands before this door, a strange feeling lingers from the back of his mind. A hazy feeling which he can only describe as akin to déjà vu. He takes a deep breath and puts his face close to the scanner camera.

Beep!

"Access granted," an automated voice speaks as the steel door splits and opens.

Pepé's eyes widen at the sight of the room revealed. A vast, poorly lit space covered wall to wall with life-sized glass cases full of that alien substance. Upon closer inspection, he finds faucets at the base of the cases, as well as cupboards marked with warnings of chemical risks and safety prevention measures. He opens one of the cupboards, finding empty glass containers of various sizes, paired with caps to seal their contents. Smirking, he grabs one of the containers. Too easy!

As he approaches one of the Illudium cases, a muffled deluge of voices flood his brain. From the auditory haze, he can piece out words like 'love', 'Illudium', and 'heartless', though he cannot figure out their meaning. Am I going mad? He ponders the question as the familiarity of the situation sharpens and grows. I have been here before. I know this place by heart. But why can't I remember...?

Container filled to the brim, he seals it and plugs the faucet. As he picks himself up, what he sees causes him to nearly drop his cargo. Reflected in the glass is a figure: grey fur, long ears, and red eyes.

His heart stuck in his throat, his quivering hand reaches for the crossbow in his bag. Under most circumstances, he refuses to engage in direct violence. This situation, however, is far from normal. Weapon secured and safety unlocked, he pulls it out. At this distance between where he stands and the entrance, the piercing ability of the arrow is dubious, but if it can afford a sufficient distraction, there's no reason not to try. With a gulp, he swings around and fires.