Heartstopper

1. Insecurities

Charlie looked in the mirror. He sighed and put on a sweater with long sleeves to hide the new scar marks. He wasn't ready yet to tell Nick he had a relapse.

He heard keys jingle and the door opened. "Charlie? I bought those candies you wanted so bad." Nick walked in their bedroom and saw Charlie in the bathroom. "Char, you okay?"

"Y-yeah. I have a therapy session with Geoff in a few." Charlie put his shoes on and took his keys. "Sorry, but i have to go."

"Charlie! Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah yeah, i'm fine."

________

"....and i'm scared to tell him I had a relapse."

Geoff nodded and wrote it down on his pad. "And why are you scared? Nick has been awfully supportive in the past."

Charlie sighed. "I don't know. It may just all be in my head. We haven't talked about mental health in a while. It would be awkward to just drop this on him."

"But you care for Nick a lot, don't you."

"Yeah."

Geoff smiled. "Charlie, I know you since you were 15. You need to believe in yourself again. Having a relapse is not the end of the world. Yes it happens, but that doesn't mean you can't talk about it with your husband. Don't pressure yourself that much. I believe in you."

Charlie smiled and nodded. "Thanks. I will tell him about it when I get home."

________

"Nick?" Charlie put his keys on the table and sat next to him.

Nick looked over at Charlie and his smile slowly faded when he saw Charlie's anxious face. "What's wrong?"

"Umm, it's kind of um- uh hard to talk about?" charlie sighed and went for it. "I've had a self harm relapse this week." Charlie pulled his sleeve up, revealing fresh scar marks.

Charlie looked at Nick who had tears in his eyes. He quickly lowered his sleeves and sat with his back to NICK, immediately regretting it.

"Char, why didn't you tell me?" his voice broke and Charlie wished he never showed nick.

"We haven't talked about mental health in a while so i felt like u didn't care anymore."

"Charlie-"

"Sorry this was a bad idea i-" Charlie stood up and wanted to leave but Nick grabbed Charlie's arm and pulled him towards him. "It wasn't a bad idea." Nick went with his hands through Charlie's hair. "Will you feel better if we kissed?"

Charlie's blushed and nick laughed. "You haven't changed."

"Oh shut up."

Nick took Charlie's hands in his. "Char, im here for you if you don't feel alright."

Charlie looked into nick's eyes and saw he meant it. Nick took Charlie's head and they both kissed.

"You smell like coffee."

"Nick!" they both laughed and went to sleep. Charlie stayed up late thinking about his relapse. Then he glanced over at nick and smiled. If it would've been with nick in his life, he wouldn't know what he would he doing with his life today.