Heartstopper

Alternate universe

(a/n) this is a what if chapter if charlie didn't survive his suicide attempt.

Nick waited outside Charlie's hospital door, sitting on a chair next to Darcy, his knees bobbing up and down. Darcy noticed and put her hand on his leg. "It's gonna be okay."

Nick turned his head to Darcy, tears in his eyes. "You don't know that. I could've been too late!"

Eleonor came out and looked around, saw Nick and signalled for him to come. "How is he?" 

Eleonor looked like she was about to cry. "He didn't make it- i'm sorry, we did everything we could."

"No-" Nick had tears rolling on his cheeks. He looked over her shoulder and saw Charlie laying there and two doctors covering him up. "No, this can't be real. You're playing with me!" Nick's voice was on a screaming tone. 

"Nick, please keep your voice down."

"What happened?" Darcy, Isaac, Elle and Tao came to stand next to Nick. 

Nick went from crying to laughing like a crazy person. "She's saying that Charlie didn't make it but- but that's not true. Charlie can't die!" 

Elle and Tao looked worried at each other and pulled Nick into a group hug. "Oh Nick.." Nick started sobbing and they all fell on the floor and let Nick sob.

Now they had to tell Tori and Charlie's parents.

______

Nick stood next to Tori, Charlie's sister looking at the coffin being put in the ground. Behind them, he heard Charlie's parents cry. He felt no emotion. 

He was too late. He looked at Tori, but she was numb. No facial expressions. Next to her stood Michael Holden, with his arm on her shoulder comforting her. He still wasn't sure whether they're dating or not.

Tori catched him stare. He quickly looked in front but it was too late. "What?"

"I wanted to say sorry. For being too late."

Tori smiled. She barely smiles. "It's not really your fault. I understand." nick nodded and looked in front. He saw his mom and waved at her to stand next to him. 

"You okay Nicky?" Nick finally started crying on his mom's shoulder. Letting everything out he kept the whole service. After he let out everything, he remained with his head on her shoulder. It was his comfort place."

______

He shaked hands with the people that came for the funeral. It ended and he got put to say goodbye to the guests. Everyone was smiling and chatting with each other. He wanted to hit them all. He tried so hard not to burst into tears again.

After he said goodbye to all the guests he went to stand next to his friends at the drinking table. He was fidgeting with Charlie's engagement ring in his hand.

He acted happy, but they didn't bought it. 

Nick, you're allowed to cry."

 "I don't have tears left." Huh, who would've guessed you could cry all your tears at a funeral.

He looked around. Now he had to live without Charlie.

He wasn't gonna wake up next to him anymore.

He wasn't gonna cuddle with him anymore.

He didn't know what the point was of living without Charlie. Then he saw Darcy, a bit further, standing at a grave. He walked to her. 

"She would've hated this." Darcy said looking at Tara's grave. 

"Darcy, I have a question. How did you keep yourself from killing yourself after Tara died?"

Darcy chuckled. "It was hard, i'll tell you that. But I realized that Tara wouldn't want me to kill myself just because she's gone. So instead i started living for her. Doing stuff she would like. Thinking about her.' Darcy paused. "It's not always easy, but you'll get there."