I Drew You Once in Art Class

Sixty-Five

Gerard drove to the hospital, his red car moving a little faster on the highway than it should have been.

His stomach was twisted in knots.

He pulled up to the ER lot, parked quickly, and half-jogged to the front desk.

Finally, after a bunch of arguing with the front-desk lady and finally convincing her that he was a blood relative (ew), he was allowed to take the elevator up and make his way to room 204.

Jepha stood outside of the door, looking like he had been waiting for Gerard.

"Is he okay?" Gerard asked. "I knew something was totally fucked when I saw you were calling me."

Jepha nodded. "He's fine. Well, under the circumstances. But he said he wanted to see you. I'll give you some privacy, I guess."

Gerard looked between Jepha and the door before pushing it open.

Bert, who had been facing the window in the teeny-tiny little tan-walled room, turned toward the sound of the door opening. He smiled tiredly, sat criss-crossed on top of the flimsy comforter.

"Hey, Gee."

Normally, Gerard would have told him off for that, but he decided that today he'd let it slide.

"Hey, Bert." he gently took a seat on the bed. "How ya doin'?"

"Oh, me? I'm just peachy. I could run a fuckin'... marathon," said Bert, his voice drowsy, moving his hands as he talked. Hospital drugs.

Gerard chuckled, leaning his head down and sort of swinging his legs.

"So... why'd you wanna see me?"

"I didn't know it was such a bother to come and pay me a visit, asshole," Bert joked, running a hand through his less-greasy-than-before hair before letting it fall back into his lap.

"No, I just... I don't know. You were always the one who could get me to feel better about all of this shit." He started picking at one of the bandages wrapping his wrists. "You were always the one to make sure I didn't do stupid shit like OD or, like, kill myself." He sighed. "I don't really know why I had Jeph call you, to be honest. It's not like there's anything you can do."

He kept picking at the wrappings and Gerard moved his hand away from them. Bert redirected his dilated eyes to look into Gerard's.

"I mean, I'm not really a doctor, I can't help you through withdrawal-"

Bert scoffed and turned his glance back toward the comforter. "Right, forgot we had that little joy of joys on its way."

"I mean, we both know I couldn't do it last time."

There was a silence before Gerard continued.

"I can't really help you with everything, I think you probably need a professional for that, but I can be here for you, like, emotionally."

Bert raised his eyebrows suggestively. "Emotionally meaning..."

Gerard rolled his eyes. "As in I can help you as a friend, dipshit. Besides, I have a boyfriend."

Shit.

Had he said that out loud?

The surprised look on Bert's face told him yes.

Fuck.

"Oh reeeally?" said Bert, dragging out the word. "And does he... I don't know, exist?"

Let's Get One Thing Clear:

-Bert McCracken is not a bad guy.

-He's just jealous.

-And a little bitter.

-And also a little high.

"Yes, he exists, asshole. His name is Frank."

Stop talking stop talking stop talking!

"We've been together for like, a month."

Aaaaugh!! Shut up!

Gerard tried to change the subject, desperate to stop the lie from growing. "How's Kate, then?" he asked.

Bert rubbed his eyes.

"Oh, we broke up... psh... maybe a week ago? Sucks, 'cause now I have to sleep on Jepha's moldy-ass couch."

"I heard that!"

"Stop listening through the door, you fuckin' creep!"

Bert turned back to Gerard. "Anyway, she totally broke up with me, which was the main reason for the, you know." He mimed pushing down a syringe into his arm. Relapse.
"Cause, like, that meant I had nowhere to live and literally no one left who... I don't know, seemed like they cared."
He rubbed his face again, the darkness under his eyes momentarily hidden by his palm.

"And then I was just, like, totally delusional and done with everything, so I just..."
He shrugged. "Decided to check out early, I guess."

Gerard exhaled, trying to take this all in. "How long were you clean for?"

Bert puffed his cheeks, blowing out a steady stream of air as he considered it.

"I don't know, maybe uh, three, four months? I mean, enough to get me a job at Green Grocers, so." He rolled his eyes and threw up his hands a little. "Although, I guess I'm gonna have to find a new job now so I don't have to live with Jepha forever."

"Please don't live with me forever!"

"Stop listening!"