The Minutes We Have

chapter thirteen

I had always been a dreamer. 

I suppose that's why I write. The uncontrollable creativity of my mind produces emotive words that bleed onto the ink of my paper. Sometimes, my mind can hold me captive until I have let it say what it needed to. I finally pull my pen away from the journal and my eyes graze the ink. 

I wasn't aware of what I had been journaling about, I tended to get lost in my head when I wrote, and I realized that I rewrote the incident involving Soren Lawerence. I had written every detail I could remember, my subconscious still bothered. 

Eventually, I sighed. I closed my journal and pushed it away from myself. I couldn't get my mind off that night. My eyes drifted to the window of my room. It was a bright, sunny day outside. The sunlight seemed opaque as it feathered through my curtains. 

Beneath the window, I had built a shelf, with Julian's help, and it now housed several potted houseplants. They varied in size, shape, and color. I didn't realize that plants could be so addictive and ever since I had bought my first plant, I couldn't seem to stop. Every time I went somewhere, I had to come home with a plant. 

My brothers had gotten used to me cradling a plant in my lap on the drive home. Roman had even helped me pick out a few of my plants. Well, that was after he made fun of me for fretting over plants that weren't watered enough in the store. He said they weren't alive and I needed to stop petting them. 

I did have a habit of touching each plant I passed, soon Roman would start slapping my hand. Julian had already said we needed to stop letting me in the plant section. 

Though, I really enjoyed the lively vibe that plants gave my room. Not to mention that they were super healthy for filtering the air I breathed. I was thinking about getting some fake ivy to drape with my sheer, light blue curtains. 

I stood from the chair at my desk and stretched. I felt a few small pops in between my shoulder blades and I sighed once more before heading downstairs. The twins had gone to school a few hours ago, and Ezra wouldn't be home until later tonight. I had an exam in the afternoon but I had studied enough to forget my own name, hence why I had decided to journal to distract my mind for a bit.

I was so close to finishing my medical degree, and I felt like I had never been more focused on one single thing. I really wanted to achieve everything I dreamed of, and it took a lot of hustle. Sometimes, I felt like I had zero time outside of college work, but it had to be worth it in the end. 

I've come to realize that dreams are goals with deadlines. 

However, study breaks and self-care are still very important. It was too easy to become burnt out without even realizing it until it crashes your mental health. I had experienced that in the city, and it was a horrible feeling, which is why I journaled a lot more and made time to spend with my family. 

Family first, you know?

Finley followed me with the silence of a shadow as I wandered around in the kitchen. He had been the perfect study partner, as he kept my feet warm, and provided adorableness that made me smile. I opened the fridge, browsed it, and then moved to the cupboards. I was hungry but I didn't know what I was hungry for. 

Eventually, I decided to bother my oldest brother. 

I padded down the hallway and entered his office without knocking. I had heard his baritone voice before I had reached the door, therefore when I saw he was on a phone call, I simply walked over to the little couch along the wall and sprawled out on it. 

Finley licked my nose, his face directly in front of mine, and I laughed. I gently shoved his face away and he sneezed before deciding to lay down in the middle of the room. Mikeal continued on his phone call for a few more minutes.