Fell in love with the nightmare

My adolescence

After heading back to the village, I thought of taking a nap but soon the nerdy guy came to have a talk with me, he didn't saw me the whole day and he was indeed worried, if I could describe what I saw in his eyes, then you could say loving someone by heart would be easy, even when you know what's the result, waking up without your Love from sleep is also a kind of fear where if the time you want to spend with the person you Love becomes selfish infront of that very person, then it's nothing but hurtful at the very end, it's the Love which we want, not time that most people think, even if it's 10 mins the need to say few words matters, smiling at each other when eyes meets matters, the thundering of chest matters, our Love which we worship matters....sometimes I'm scared that I'll have to go without waking you up, without saying you good bye, without looking at your eyes, I get scared not because I don't trust you, it's because I don't want to lose you, it's because I want to wake every morning beside you, I want to be with you and only you, so I actually want to be part of each of your sorrow, happiness and every aspect of life, I never knew I would fall head over heels for someone, but yes, you proved me wrong because you're the person who could transcend my heart, who penetrated  deeply into my soul, so I just want to keep you safe, with me or without me. Maybe it's good for us to stay this way, may be you want things this way, if that's what you want then let the fate decide what's right path to choose for us. Catching each other's emotion without fail, understanding our wayward nature is what Love consist's off, actually there is nothing to express the emotion of love, even I love you doesn't works when we want to show the love we have for that particular person, maybe I'm too naive to understand Love, or else maybe I've thought beyond of your expectations, maybe, maybe......today or tomorrow if I tear up infront of you please don't stop me, just say that you've been genuine to me all this time, I've saw people come and go in my life but for the first time I don't want a person to just come and pass by, I actually want to hang out with him, want to laugh and roll with him, want to eat and spend time with him, it's because you matter and your presence matters, that's how I express my inner thoughts because when it comes to you it's only you and you and the last one would be still you, Thank you for all happiness that you gave me all this time, I want to be near you all the time but if you can't give all the time then I'm fine with a lil, but if you can't provide me that lil fully then you know it would be the most hurtful thing and I would never be able to expect anything more, rather than that, I think day by day my feelings grown for him, I've lost void of emptiness from my life, only because of him so I really wanted him close to me...He came to sit beside me and wanted to let us stay this way for the whole night, silent but close, I was tired I wanted to sleep but I didn't maybe that's what compromise is, when we Love we need to compromise for each other but he knew what was going on inside me so he let me lay my head on his shoulder and soon I drifted to sleep.

Next morning, I woke up in his arms where I saw the most beautiful scenery since all these consequences happened, his peaceful sleeping face, it felt like my stars were twinkling as the brightest dream and air felt like it was a complete smell of sweet first Love, it was too good to be true, a beautiful day with a beautiful start. I was in a dilemma if I should head out or stay with him, but then I thought of not disturbing him so I headed out and it was the biggest mistake I did, as tomorrow was the big day when we were going to attack on Asmara's kingdom, I grabbed the locket which swan prince gave me and went for a stroll to check the preparations for tomorrow, the villagers were making handcrafted tools and shields for defences, my students were helping them as well the technology they felt to be used in the generation we were in, it was the best part of all, I was doing nothing so I asked an aged woman who was making leaf rings to be helpful in doing something, but she said I should rest and prepare myself for tomorrow, it's a big day for me tomorrow, I didn't really understand what she supposed to mean by that, but I didn't thought about it anymore, so I thought of checking out the nerdy guy if he woke up, when I entered the lil cottage he was nowhere to be found, I called him several times but he wasn't there, maybe he went out so I asked people passing by if they saw him, no one saw him out so I started panicking about the whole damn situation, was it some kind of joke that he was playing with me, no he won't play such stupid joke with me in this situation, he's not among the people who jokes, the whole thing gave a feeling of horror I felt chilly inside and out it was creepy enough to make my heart beat faster, so I send wards for his search but he was nowhere to be found, did something happen to him?, or he left us, left me?, the temperature of the situation was high enough to make tiny droplets roll down from my cheeks, then from a far I saw a figure approaching with all black outfit, it looked familiar and it was familiar, because it was the nerdy guy, my nerdy guy who was nothing like my nerdy guy anymore, he came with a mocking smile on his face with a sarcastic body language, nothing felt like the nerdy guy I know, he called my name saying ' You thought I loved you, haha! Poor Ana, I never loved you it was a part of my game my dear, I'm a minion of Asmara or you could say a part of Asmara, who was living in your world to observe the saviour of this village from my lord Asmara. You're anything but saviour?, Never you're a weakling who fell in love with her own student where as I'm not your student but for everyone I was, you don't follow the rules of life on earth yourself and you've been chosen as the saviour, what a lame choice of the heavens, where me and my lord would spit on a disgraceful person like you, I never loved you, I don't Love you and I will never Love you, it was all part of my plan, to make you weak from standing against me and my lord, I pity you lonely creature.' After what I heard from him, after what I saw from my eyes that moment, I went to a different time lapse where I couldn't see anything but only darkness, so I told him what I felt like ' The promises we made were just my imaginations, the bindings to never leave each other were all for show, the moments we spend together were nothing my heart, if the time we spent together were lies then you have my most profound respect.' I didn't know if the things I said really affected his emotionless armour, but deep down we both knew that we love each other and we want to be together, because not even a single time I felt gap in between us from his side whenever we were together, laughing, holding each other, I told him that ' I miss you, I miss us, we were all happy till yesterday then why it changed?, then why you went so far from me?, don't I deserve your love anymore?, is it so important to listen to your lord?, let's just run away from here just you and me, we'll be happy in our own world, please?.' I don't know if I regret loving him or regret falling in love, maybe I crossed my boundaries so that's why the heavens wants me to suffer, or was it wrong for a saviour who didn't even know that she's a saviour fall in love with someone, my heart is such a foolish naive who couldn't find anyone else to Love where there is a vast number of population, I don't even know what did I do to deserve such fate, maybe I never had that golden luck with me, I was too easy going to trust everyone, and then the outcome hurts so good. 'As you were observing me since the very beginning, then did you never felt I was alone or suffering this whole time?, you said you pity me so is it because you know how wrong things turned in my life?, you know everything but you still look downwards, Am I so bad to deserve your compassion?, if yes then please do kill me before I kill you with my own hands, this whole fight started from Love, then I'll make sure that it will end from Love.