i asked myself, how did I ended up here? i once was a very diligent student who always pass my tasks in time, always go to class early, and had very high grades. now it felt more numb, the excitement of once going to school and learning, turned somehow bitter.
im embarrassed to say but, i wanted to drop out and not do anything for the rest of my life, just laying in my bed, doing absolutely nothing. all i felt while thinking about school is grades, assignments, mini tasks, pbl, work, stress and more stress, even when i barely did anything.
it was as if i was thrown into a well and was falling- not rapidly tho, it was slow and steady, making sure i was seeing that the top was slowly getting away from me. i was being weighed down by the heaviness of my heart, while my mind was saying i should get up. my body was refusing to move and tears just flows down my cheeks. i want to do something, i want to be something.
i fear many things, but the fear of disappointment was the only one making me fall any further. then i found out that even if i didnt get high grades didn't disappoint them, but like always it didnt get any better. my mind was clear and no more raising thoughts, my body felt relaxed, but my heart is still hurting so much i couldn't do, but need to do, yet i cant do.
so i started talking to him, he gave me courage to tell people, i told my friends, they encouraged me to tell others so i told adults i knew and trust, and they helped me tell my parents and said i can get help. that made the fall stop, momentarily. more like it was in a standstill, still begging for attention and help that i need, all i can do now is pray that everything goes well.
YOU ARE READING
𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 - 𝙮𝙯𝙯𝙖
Randomwhy dont you find it by yourself? joke its just rants about my feelings, current emotions and some stories. nothing too interesting :))
