Depressed

Depression

I just need someone to talk to. I can't tell anyone about how I feel.

I don't feel like I'm needed or noticed. I cut myself. I don'y know why, but I do; on my left wrist and right knee. My friends treat me like trash. I used to have other friends yeah I used to be like the queen bee, but I changed schools and I only have like three friends, I don't really talk to my other friends anymore even though it's not like I moved I just changed from private to public school. My only friend is music and sometimes not even it will help.

In front of people I'm cheery and innocent; but it's just a facade. I feel worthless, that's why I cut. My parents and sister are always putting me down and talking bad about me; in front, or to me.

Tears just poured out a few minutes ago and I just snapped. I curled into a ball and sobbed; then I did something I promised my self I wouldn't; I cut myself again- drawing blood again- feeling the familiar sting again- feeling worse about myself again.

I needed to just let this all out; but even as I type this, my throat is clogging and tears are stinging at my eyelids.

I can't tell my mom or my friends, or... anyone. I just decided to unload this on all you poor Wattpad readers, having to put up with my emotional crap, but I feel: ugly, fat, stupid, worthless, idiotic, rude for making you people read this, a cry-baby for crying right now, like crap, crazy, and most of all.... DEPRESSED.

I'm truly sorry to all of you who read this and think i'm wasting your time, but I'm crumbling, my walls are falling, and the tears are pouring.

Please help I don't want to be on pills or anything, that change people outlook on me; make them be farther away than they already are.

I feel like the world around me hates me for ever showing up, and I just want it to stop! I'm only 12 for pete's sake!! I don't need their crap on top of mine. I just want it to stop. I feel unheard and forgotten.

I just want to go away forever.

Let people be happy, cause everybody knows they'd be better off without me.

Help, please, just talk to me like a civilized person and don't treat me like I'm stupid or worthless, I just need a real friend, somone to tell this to.

I am so SORRY if this is taking your time.

comment and tell me what to do; this is very true and very hard for me to tell; but I need to.

help me