Sometimes

Alone Again

Brayden

My success was short-lived. The next school day, Linus doesn't sit at our table. I fucked up. I just know it. There is no way in my mind that I couldn't have if someone I was such good friends with before suddenly disappeared into what seemed to be nothingness. Except, he didn't exactly disappear into nothingness because he was hiding in plain sight. With Bianca.

Now, don't misunderstand. I'm not jealous of her. Never have been, and never will be. We don't exactly get along anymore, and that's perfectly okay in my book. People change and grow out of each other, and we just happened to go in separate ways.

I just wish I could have Linus back.

It's like I don't exist in his mind anymore. Even in Astronomy, he seems to ignore my presence. I could have sworn that he at least had a little bit of a crush on me after that kiss, and the conversation we had, coming out to each other, certainly helped solidify that idea in my big, stupid noggin.

But I guess not.

So I sit moping at the table, and while I'm almost certain the guys notice, they don't acknowledge it. Instead, we just keep shooting the shit. But my eyes keep drifting over to Bianca's table, and I watch how lively their conversation is. It breaks me.

Okay, I guess I'm a little jealous that she's getting attention from Linus, but I have to suck it up.

God, I'm pathetic.

"Yo, Bray, walk with me," Thomas says, standing up. He stares me down, with a look that just screams, If something is wrong, we're talking about it. Now.

So, as much as I don't want to, I stand up too and sit just outside of the cafeteria with him. His eyes drill into my head, and he makes a face that tells me to talk. But I don't talk. I still sit there quietly and make it seem like everything is at least kinda fine.

"Alright, Brayden. I'm not gonna let you sit here and mope around knowing what happened the last time you didn't get any of this shit off your chest," Thomas says. "And we aren't moving until you talk. I don't care if we're late for class. You're talking."

That's why I'm friends with Thomas. Sure, he's an asshole on occasion, but when he isn't being an asshole, he's one of the best friends someone could ask for. He's protective since the little problem I had at the end of last year, and if he weren't here for me during that whole debacle, I'm not sure if I would be alive right now. 

"Well, this is awkward..." I start, and Thomas just continues looking at me with that expectant look in his eyes. "So, you know how we spent yesterday at the beach, right?"

"That's a stupid question. Get on with it."

"Well, Linus was thinking of leaving before the rest of us, and I asked him to help us pack up, and after we dropped off the umbrella, we kinda got to talking and I decided, kinda out of the blue to... uhh... kiss him..."

"Wait, what?"

"Yeah, the rest of you were too busy chilling down by the waves to notice. But that isn't the important part. It's obvious that I have feelings for him, right?"

"Painfully. You're practically crawling all over him."

"Well, in case you didn't notice, he's avoiding me now."

"How do you know he's avoiding you?"

"He's hanging out with Bianca."

"That didn't answer my question," Thomas says, and, as usual, he's right. He's the kind of person who can talk you out of your stubborn thoughts by simplifying the situation to a point it can be understood by a seventh-grader. I guess that's another reason I keep Thomas around. I need his cool head.