MY BEST FRIEND IS A SECRET AGENT, Book 3: How C.H.I.P. Took on C.H.I.M.P. and...

Chapter 9: "My Worst Nightmare"

"Welcome to Anastasia Live! And now, your host, Anastasia O'Neil!"

That night, Chip, Stella and I sat in my basement watching Anastasia O'Neil's new TV interview show. Her guests tonight? Gert von Brugen and her wonder-chimp!

"There's a new sheriff in town, and his name is Chimp von Brugen!" Anastasia said to the camera. "He's here with his trainer and programmer, Gert von Brugen, the brilliant young girl whose mastery of science and technology saved our fair town from a new vicious attack by Seth Mindwarp's Freaky Fuzzies." The studio audience cheered.

I wanted to throw up. There Gert was, my nemesis since kindergarten, up on the TV screen where I belonged. For years, in science class, she'd sabotaged my experiments, cheated from my tests and tried to steal my best ideas. Now she actually stole my best idea of all and pretended it was hers on TV!

Chip jumped up and down, pointing at the screen. "Hey, there's that girl from school, Gert von Brugen! She's on TV!" Then he sat back down and slouched in his seat. "I wish I could be on TV."

"You could be on TV if we were able to reveal your secret identity as C.H.I.P. the secret agent!" I snapped. "But then my dad would shut us down, remember?"

"Well... at least could I get a monkey?" Chip asked, smiling. "I like monkeys."

"I knew a girl who had a monkey once," Stella chimed in. "It ripped her head off."

Urgh. I tried hard to ignore both Chip and Stella and listen to the TV.

"When you have a really smart brain like mine," Gert said to Anastasia, "you feel you should use it for the benefit of mankind. So when I invented this amazing microchip that could make my chimp supersmart and superstrong, I knew right then and there that he'd be perfect for fighting wacky bad guys like Seth Mindwarp."

"Speaking of fighting wacky bad guys, where was the hero guy during this Freaky Fuzzy attack?" Anastasia asked.

"I think he chickened out," Gert said. "He took a look at all those Freaky Fuzzies and said, 'This is too much for me! I'm outa here!' Good thing the von Brugen team was there to save the day!" Gert lifted the chimp's arm up high in triumph.

Anastasia turned to the audience. "Isn't she amazing, ladies and gentlemen?" The audience cheered even louder than before.

"AAAAAHHH!!!!" Yes. That was me. Screaming my brains out.

Just then, my dad opened the basement door and poked his head inside. "What's all that racket? I'm trying to watch Anastasia Live! up here."

I suddenly got an idea. I ran up the basement steps and pleaded with my dad. "Dad, Gert von Brugen's chimp is taking on wacky bad guys! But that's your job, right? You gotta leave a job like that to the professionals, right? So you have to shut Gert and her chimp down, RIGHT?!"

But Dad just rubbed his chin and said, "Actually, I was quite impressed with that chimp's performance today. I thought I might even invite him to join my team. In fact, I might replace my whole team with chimps. McKrakken Security Systems has got to evolve to keep up with the times, son!" Then he smiled and chuckled at his choice of words. "Heh-heh, 'evolve'. Get it? Evolve? Chimp? I gotta tell that to your mother." Dad closed the door and left.

I plopped down onto the stairs and pondered my fate. C.H.I.P. had been replaced by a C.H.I.M.P., a Computerized Heroic Incredible Monkey Person! And I had been replaced by Gert von Brugen! How could things get any worse?

Little did I know, they could. A LOT worse...