ISRAEL

ELEVEN

You lots comments made me laugh so much I had to update quicker this time🤍 just kno ur appreciated

XIOMARA

GREENWICH, LONDON — 13:18

"IT'S so nice today innit."

Finally sitting down and crossing her legs, Xiomara enjoyed the cool breeze that gently ran over her skin. It was a beautiful day, the sky was cloudless and a perfect shade of blue.  

This April afternoon was a serene one, there was no rain, it was just pure Sun and vibes, Xiomara lapped up the light wind that circled her. The air was crisp, and the Sun had creeped through the leaves of the trees, shining down on her. Fixing the strands of hair that had annoyingly stuck to her lipgloss, she gazed aimlessly, lost in her own thoughts.

Clearing her throat and swallowing to try and stop it from swelling she distracted herself. Xiomara tugged at the grass that was underneath her folded leg, finding her words.

"I'm just so glad I finally got your headstone." She spoke finally.

"I'm sorry I know its a bit late, but I wanted to pick the perfect one. The man was all like with this one you can add things on top. I had to tell him like my mum is not a lighthouse." She laughed by herself, rubbing her fingertips over the cool white marble.

"You're lucky 'cause I was gonna engrave it and be like 'careful: a mad Jamaican lady lies here', but auntie was like 'no you're only gonna upset her'."

She chuckled to herself before saying out loud, "I was just like to her, you're probably right 'cause I don't want Mummy to haunt me."

The headstone was beautiful, engraved in the bottom corner was a cherry blossom tree, her mum loved them and the two of them were planning a trip to Japan when Xiomara finished uni. There were cemented pink petals decorated casually on the base of the stone, that the funeral home said could hold small words in the future. Like grandma for example.

Eight months had passed since that morning, and it was a lot to unpack, Xiomara felt like her life would never be the same. And it wasn't.

In the middle of August, Xio had buried her mother. She never knew her mum had life insurance, but with that she was able to give her mum a beautiful send off. Horses and carriages, flying to Jamaica to hold a memorial, the full works. Her family were so proud of how well she handled her mum's sudden death and funeral.

Almost everyday in September she wished that she died that morning as well, so that maybe she'd never know her mum was ever gone. It was hard for Xiomara, but it was especially difficult for Ivy too who didn't have a mum that she could put her trust in and had always shared Xio's. It was tough for the both of them, but they shared their hurt.

At the start of October she started university, opting to stay in London like Ivy had. She was going to go far away at first, but decided it was best not to run away from her problems. Ivy had noticed that sometimes Xiomara hit the alcohol a bit heavy, since she spent most of her time at university going out and getting pissy drunk.

November, she experienced an even greater loss that she would have never anticipated.

She was binge eating and had a depressive episode during December, at Christmas, so gained more weigh. That was when she had finally come accustom to the fact that her mum was never coming home, and every Christmas, every holiday and every birthday would be the same from then on.