Fan Fics Anywhere, Fan Fics Everywhere (Die Mannschaft Edition)

CRUEL

Cruel. A SCHWEINSKI FANFIC.

(Lukas' POV)

He's a star. I'm his boyfriend. And it hurts. But I love it... until...

"Basti, where are you going?" I asked in vain. But I didn't expect him to answer.

"I'm going to Sevilla with my co-stars in my next movie. We'll shoot much of the scenes there."

"Can I go with you?"

I have seen his eyebrows raised and said, "No! You don't need to go with me." I was about to say something but he stopped me. "When I say no. Don't."

I bow down and felt so much hurt inside. This is the tenth time the he refused me to go with him. I understand why. He and his manager doesn't want me to be known publicly. That's why we have had gone out for like five times in our seven-year relationship. And it hurts. But I need to resist this feeling because he would get mad if I pushed him to go outside with me.

"Sure. By the way, have to go." I said briefly.

I was almost exiting the door when he suddenly hugged me tightly.

"I'm sorry if I'm getting too mad right now."

I faced him and told him that it is alright. Then I exited the hotel doors and went out by myself.

I really hate myself when I am making it seemed to be alright. Whereas, in reality, I'm really hurting inside. Bastian was no different from other guys who only wanted the presence of their partners. And yes, I am definitely one of them.

Sometimes I am asking myself why it has to be Bastian? Why did I pursue him in the first place? Oh yeah. He's my first love. So I felt entitled to win his love. But when I was able to do so, he became a sensation because of his performance on his first indie film "Mein Kampft". Then movie offers have overflowed for him and he rised to fame.

Everybody knows that he's a straight guy. I am the only one who knows about his sexuality. And that hurts me too. Why does he need to swerve those questions about his gender or so? Why does he need to refuse to do gay roles, when in fact he is also gay? There are questions in my mind that I knew the answers. I just deny what is true. He hovers his true self to the public.

My phone vibrated and it was Olivier who called. He also don't know my relationship with Bastian.

"Hello, Lukas. Where are you?"

"Having some "loner" time."

"C'mon! Come here, to my flat. Just want to try this tequila. Wanna have shots with you." He yelled over his phone.

"Sure! I'll be there in a jiffy." I happily said.