the only time i feel i might get better (is when we are together) - ziam

Four ‎✧ ೃ༄

Hearing the music pause and some extremely out of tune whistles come from Liam's mouth, the boy walked out with scruffy, wet hair and nothing but an extremely loose towel around his waist, indecent as usual. Zayn looked away almost instantly before the two made awkward eye contact.

Liam grabbed some shorts and a shirt from his own wardrobe, whistling still, and headed back off into the bathroom for some privacy to get changed. Which in all honesty, wasn't necessary since the boy had already shown off everything he has to offer to Zayn. Though, Zayn very much appreciated it as he would much rather not see his roommates naked body right now, even if admittedly it is quite pretty. (He was sure that Liam had some sort of exhibitionist kink as something was always on show, whether it was his abs or his thighs, very rarely yet not at all shockingly, his dick too. Something was always out.)

Once Liam headed back into the bathroom, Zayn took the opportunity himself to get changed and threw on a matching velvet, sage green tracksuit. He then curled up under his bed sheets, anxiously awaiting for the opposite boy to come back out and say something, if anything. He grabbed his teddy which was hid under the duvet and held it tight, silently counting to pass the time.

Soon, a couple of minutes had passed and Liam was back out, laying on his bed and scrolling TikTok, to no surprise, obnoxiously loud on his phone and not mentioning anything of what had previously happened; Liam didn't care, Zayn was just overthinking once more. That's right. Of course Liam didn't care, he was just some jock that people either loved or hated. Now that he thought about it, lot's of people probably get annoyed with him - especially if he's against them on a football team. It was probably nothing new to him. God, Zayn was so weak and pathetic for getting so deep about this, at least that's what he thought about anyway. Though deep down, he knew that if Louis was here, listening to Zayn think these horrible things about himself, he would become upset and tell Zayn to stop thinking so poorly about himself as he's a lovely little boy but Zayn couldn't help it.

Fuck. Zayn thought and groaned, putting his hands over his face. The teddy falling to the side of him. He could really do with slipping right now, he's way too stressed out for his own good.

"You okay over there?" Liam asked, surprising Zayn. The boy peeked out and looked at him, embarrassment covering his face, "Um, yeah." His cheeks painted a soft shade of pink.

"Doesn't sound too convincing. Look, I'm sorry for earlier."

Oh?

Zayn sat up, "You- You're sorry?"

"Well yeah, I kind of walked in being an arsehole and now I've reflected on it. So I'm sorry. So accept my apology before I get pissed off again." He sighed and rubbed his temple, Zayn squinted his eyes at him. Trying as hard as possible to understand what caused such an odd change in Liam, wondering if it was him reacting back to him, but nevertheless accepting his apology before Liam got mad again. "Okay..."

"Great. Thank you." The boy hummed and went back to scrolling TikTok, occasionally singing along to random sounds that popped up. Zayn shut his eyes, positive he wouldn't be sleeping anytime soon though he doesn't want to test his luck any further with Liam by causing more arguments so he simply just put up with it, keeping his eyes rested. He began to imagine scenarios, thinking of what would happen if he did eventually manage to slip and he was so far into the headspace that falling out of it became tricky. What would he do in that situation if Liam walked into the room? Well of course he wouldn't be able to do much and he knows that, he just assumes he would stay with his head under the covers and try to not make anything obvious while he mentally battled with himself and thought of adult thoughts such as coursework to pull himself out of the space.

He also wondered what he'd do if Liam really ever did find out about his little space? Would he be disgusted? Weirded out? Zayn thought so. Liam has no caring side to him at all so he's probably just view it as a weird kink due to how the media portrays age regression. Liam shows how much of a careless twat he is when he brings girls around, fucks them and then kicks them out almost instantly. No cuddles, no hugs, no aftercare, and it seems he doesn't even bother to give their clothing back that they leave on the floor. Zayn wondered how someone could be so horrible. Liam would probably make fun of Zayn if he ever found out about his little space, spread it around like wildfire too - just like he thought of previously - everyone would know within a matter of hours and he'd be the biggest clown to exist. People would be calling him names, making fun of him, he's sure of it.

Sighing, he opened his eyes and looked over at Liam who was now texting someone and singing quietly. It was no lie that Liam had a good singing voice but it was painfully annoying when Zayn was tired. He turned over and faced the wall, unable to sleep. Close to giving up and just scrolling TikTok himself. Acknowledging the sighing boy though, Liam looked over with an unusual concerned look on his face which almost shocked Zayn when he began to talk, "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I.. I can't sleep." The boy mumbled, body and eyes still facing against the dorm's old, brick wall.

"Why?"

"Because you're like, singing and playing music from your phone."

Liam nodded, "Well- If it was an issue why didn't you just say?"

"Because I didn't want to bother or anger you." Zayn whispered, shutting his eyes tight shut again. Liam watched him, shaking his head with a gentle sigh, "I'll be quiet then."

And that was it, Zayn didn't hear anything else from the opposite boy for the rest of the night and was very quickly able to fall fast asleep, feeling confused, a little scared but grateful. He wondered what caused the boy to listen to him, to be quiet and to not cause an argument though he tried not to ponder too hard as he allowed himself to gain the rest he needed for the next day.