Love Letters from Another World

Loving Nightshade

I would gladly empty
my lungs of breath
to give to the lost soul who deserves it,
so if you want me dead or alive,
tell me that these words of mine
will save my heart the pain,
or give her life
and breath.
Again.

How was I to know
the sacrifices she'd make?
I have a beautiful daughter now,
I should be happy; I don't understand,
How looking in those nightshade eyes
could kill me more than any man.

I find myself tangled up in nightmares,
of lover's blood and aching hands,
And yet, at times,
this dainty face is all I see;
fatherly love slips away from me,
god knows I tried
to wash it away with the rain.

She smiles at me every time
I look into my emerald eyes –
Gemstones settled safe at home
on her mother's face;
ruby cheeks and citrine hair,
delicate as chantilly lace.

How can I know which way to turn?
it's the worst kind of curse that burns,
Living so deep down in my mind;
when the demons of the world run free,
and this tiny, helpless creature,
needs her mother more than me.

I was watching Call the Midwife when the idea for this poem came to me. Death during and around childbirth is such a tough subject to cover. I hope I handled it well and that it's not in bad taste.

The story is about a man who lost his wife due to complications in labour, and he feels he can't help but blame their daughter for what happened, even though he knows it's not true. He says he would give anything to trade places with his wife, as he felt he was too lost in his own grief to protect and care for his daughter properly; she deserves a mother's love more than anything.