Fated

Fated (The Last POV)

Sophia Khione Rodriguez's Point of View

I closed my eyes as I heard the departure announcement of the pilot; I took a deep breath, clearing my head, convincing myself that my decision was correct, that this was the right thing to do.

I chose to run away. For the first time in my life, I decided to run away, not for anyone, but for myself. I'll lose my sanity if I continue living my life. I'll lose my mind if I continue to be this Sophia. I thought I was already okay. I thought I was okay, but the truth is... I'm not. I just made everyone believe that I am. I made myself believe that I am. I am so broken; since a kid, I am already broken; I thought it was because I was missing something or someone in my life. I tend to give and give, not caring if I receive anything back. And it came to the point that I had nothing left for myself anymore. Loving and being with Matthew is something foreign to Sophia Khione Smith Rodriguez; he is someone that is foreign to my life, a person I chose on my own to enter my life for the first time. Growing up, all I did was just follow what the elders told me to do so, especially my grandfather; he is someone I look up. Someone I don't want to disappoint, someone I want to make proud. The moment Matthew introduced himself to me, I knew that it was already wrong. I know that him in my life is something I can't do. He is someone I can't have. Even if I want to. I know that my family won't agree about him; about us. I know that it is wrong, but he was a vice that I am willing to fight and die for. Before. Yes, I won't deny the fact that I still love him, but not the way I did before. He is someone I will never forget, who will always be a part of me and my life. With him, in our relationship, I became someone more than my name. I became Khione, the true me. Matthew is somewhat my sign of freedom and independence; he is the person behind Khione. The person that I want to be, the person I might really be. He is somewhat my anchor. So, when Matthew and I broke up, I also lost myself. I felt like I had lost my world and will; the only thing left in me was my name, no scratch that, my surname. Then Chrome happened. I won't deny it; a part of me decided to get married to Chrome because I wanted to forget Matthew; I wanted to take revenge on him. That if he can get married in a short span of time, I can do that as well. For a minute or two, I was blinded by my anger about what Matthew did to me, and at the same time, I felt bad for Chrome. I knew what I was doing is wrong and it will eventually hurt Chrome, but I still continued. I used Chrome and his feelings, and I can never reason out a thing or two to defend myself because what I did is wrong, no buts. That's why even I can't give my heart to him; I tried being at least a good wife, a good best friend, or at least a good companion. But little did I realize that during our marriage, during the times that I was with him, I was slowly liking my husband, my best friend, Chrome. I just started seeing him as a man. I just didn't like him. I love him. Yes, I do love him, and I don't want to hurt him more than anyone in the world. He doesn't deserve to get hurt. I know that I don't deserve him, and that's why I started working on myself. I chose to face my problems and past, so I could face my present and, hopefully, my future with him. I didn't just help him; instead, he also helped me. He helped me get through one of the darkest chapters of my life. But I still messed up. I messed up big time; I hurt him. And that is my worst mistake. So days before I ended and cleared things out with Matthew, I met Brianna.

~Flashback~

"I won't ask you what happened because I know that you'll never want to hurt my brother. But, I'm sorry, Ate, he doesn't really want to see you." Brianna said when I asked her again where her brother was. Because the moment I woke up he was already gone and the only thing left was his letter.

"He is in New York, right?" Brianna didn't answer and just looked at me. "It's okay, Brianna. I understand. But can you at least do me a favor?"

"Of course, Ate." I held her hand.

"No matter what happened, please don't bring up my name to him. Don't let anyone bring my name up to him. I hurt your brother, Brianna. God knows how much I don't want to hurt him; that is the last thing I want to do. But at this point, with what happened, I know that I will just hurt him. I will just cause him more pain. So, please, help me to protect him. I'll just finish my other businesses, and then I'll go to him myself. But before that, please take good care of him for me." She just nodded and hugged me.