Olivia Always

Chapter 15 - What Spreads Faster Than Wildfire?

My work colleagues are definitely not my friends. I work with them and the word work is the first clue. I have always believed it's a good idea to keep your work life and your "real" life separate.

I'll admit it. If I see one of them downtown on a Saturday shopping, I will duck into a store to avoid the whole inane conversation thing. However, having said all this I don't actively dislike these people and certainly don't wish them harm. Well, maybe one.

Amber is in a word, annoying. She is all the things I find irksome in a work mate. Always there at your desk prying, asking personal questions. She's the one who sends out whole office memos reminding everyone of the protocols around casual Friday. "Remember people, no jeans." Sigh... So annoying.

She is head of HR and thinks it gives her royal powers. Sadly, she does have influence beyond her people skill set. A dangerous mix. People tip toe around her for fear of the dreaded, "Please come into my office at your earliest convenience" email. These little meetings are always a sad mixture of carrot and stick. She usually had some minor complaint which she carefully outlines, "I have noticed you are often five minutes late returning to your desk after lunch." She would know this because she spends a great deal of her time leaning against her office door and scanning the room like a lion at feeding time. Alert, ready to pounce and hungry for prey.

After carefully outlining your current infraction, she would very delicately introduce what would have to happen if you didn't correct your behaviour – this is the stick. "I would hate to have to report this to Madeline (she would love to do just that.) "I am thinking of having our weekly update meetings right after lunch on Fridays and I would love to be able to have you first on the agenda." That's the carrot. Everyone hated these weekly meetings but they also knew that if they wanted to get their particular pet project more air time the beginning of the agenda was the place to be. After that everyone either fell asleep or if someone spoke at length on a topic everyone else would say, "I echo what (fill in the name) said." Then you know you've lost the battle for that week.

As is often the case with people who spend a lot of time inserting themselves into other people's lives, they let nothing out about theirs. You would think Amber was an agent in her Majesty's Secret Service. She was a cipher. Was she married, was she gay, was she living in a yurt? All valid questions with no answers. Her office gave no clues. Unlike Madeline with her cat collection Amber's walls had just awkward, "inspirational" posters. "Do It Now. Maybe Later, Becomes Never". And. "We Must Face the Choice Between What is Right and What is Easy." So empowering.

So, given how little we knew about her or anyone else the intraoffice memo that came around was shocking. It said, "A little birdie wanted to share that a certain someone has been seen taking their lunch hour in the company of a gentleman friend. Wedding bells soon?" The memo was signed "A Knowing Friend."

The office was instantly abuzz with electric energy. Gossip is the life-blood of many offices. We had until this point been fairly careful in this regard however. Not out of a kindness so much as fear that your own personal life could become fodder for the mill. But now the damn had broken. Unleash the hounds!

A word about the intraoffice memo. It was on our shared files so anyone in the office had access to it. Ostensibly, it was to share office-wide information regarding upcoming projects, upper management decisions and meeting times and dates. Fairly standard stuff. But occasionally it would veer into some more personal items. For example, reminders about the dreaded birthday cake share or an upcoming whole-office event. But never anything like this!