The signs as Exes.

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Aries:The ex that burns a hole in your lawn

Taurus:The ex that won't give you your Buffy cd's back

Gemini:The ex that has told everyone every single secret you've ever had

Cancer:The ex that has all of your friends wrapped around their finger

Leo:The ex that is doing to good

Virgo:The ex that disappears for 2 months and then comes back "renewed"

Libra:The ex that buys a new wardrobe with your credit card

Scorpio:The ex that burns down your house

Sagittarius:The ex that is constantly drunk for 4 months after the break up

Capricorn:The ex that gets promoted and super rich 2 days after you break up

Aquarius:The ex that seems fine but is really not

Pisces:The ex that sends you pictures of the family you were supposed to have

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