Nirvana - Jack Brewer (ON HOLD)

Announcement!!!!!

I'm sorry for not posting this week, I have been dealing with a lot lately and I haven't had the motivation to write. If I force myself to write, I know that it won't be something worth your time to read or something I'm proud of. 

(I need to rant for a minute so please feel free to skip over the next five paragraphs)

So one of my best friends started ignoring me out of nowhere about two weeks ago. However, she also made a point to exclude me from conversations with our mutual friends and just act like I wasn't even there if I was already taking to someone (she would just walk up to the person I was talking to and start a conversation with them).  You can imagine that it hurt my feelings quite a lot. Then, every time I tried to talk to her about it she just ignored me and walked away. 

I waited about a week to text her about it because I thought that I was over thinking it (I sometimes do that and I worry over the smallest things for literally no reason, also some of you may call it anxiety but I haven't been diagnosed with anxiety so...). To my surprise, she actually responded and she said that she felt like I didn't respect her boundaries. Before you guys say anything, her feelings are valid and I apologized over text. I understand that she most likely wouldn't forgive me right away or at all but when I tried to apologize in person the next day she just kept avoiding me. So I've decided that I'm going to give her space when she feels comfortable enough to talk to me, then that's when I'm going to apologize in person. She also didn't tell me what I did wrong so I don't know what I need to do/change to make her more comfortable and feel like her boundaries are respected.

This also made our friend group of four awkward because the two of us aren't talking to each other but we're talking to the other two just fine. Please keep in mind, that she's ignoring me and I'm just trying to be respectful of her boundaries right now. I just feel bad for making the friend group awkward you know? So I'm not sure what to do about that but if you lovely people have any advice please let me know!

Also one of my close friends had her birthday party last weekend and the only reason I found out about it was from her and my friends story (its on insta just in case you don't have instagram and you don't know what I'm talking about). Then, on Monday one of my friends who went asked me why I wasn't there and I told her that I didn't even know that there was a party. She thought that I was invited, which is why she never brought it up. And the friend that had her party just keeps trying to talk to me like nothing is wrong, like what? 

I know it may seem like I'm over reacting but it really hurt my feelings. Like, I legit ugly sobbed in the shower over this and my (ex?) best friend ignoring me.

 I just wanted to tell y'all why I haven't been posting lately and I'm truly sorry. I just feel like there is not stability in my life right now and I just need some time to recollect myself. I can't promise an update in the next two weeks and I sincerely apologize. I will try my best to update as soon as possible but I don't know when that will be.

I'm so grateful for y'all and please give me advice if you can!

Thank you my lovelies,

~KJ