penny for your thoughts

5. choice stress

Justin's pov

This has never actually happened to me before. She actually rejected me. Not in the meaning of sex of course, she could never reject that. I mean have you seen me? I would fuck myself if I could. But that bitch actually did say no. 

Ugh, I think it's time for a little drink. "Come on guys it's on the house!" I unlock the doors of this stupid little bar of my dad's. A whole bunch of A- holes following behind. They're all out for the money... "Help yourself, it's on my dad" Straight to the bar tapping a beer to cool myself down a little. I pass the radio, turning it on and falling down on a chair at the bar. I can't help but get lost in thought. No better company then myself. 

One fine looking lady comes my way and seductively sits down next to me. "Should you really be out on a school night?" Damn she's hot as fuck man. She leans forward just enough to give me a good look. The guys that get it, get it. The guys that don't, don't... They look devine to me. "What do you mean?" I ask, still focused on those miracles on her chest. I give her a little smirk from my side cause you know, all girls swoon for it. "Well, I heard you're a skater? Isn't this thing kinda frowned upon?"

"They can't frown upon anything they don't know about" She gives me one of those little slutty smiles touching my arm lightly. She knows exactly what she's doin. My beer gets stolen out of my hand by a certain lady next to me. "cheers" comes out in a whisper. Her tongue swirls over her soft lips licking of the beer that spilled onto them. I think I'm getting hard on the spot.

Kat's pov

I arrive home hanging my jacket in the closet. The lights are out so I'm guessing everyone's asleep. I turn on a little lamp in the corner of the kitchen so I don't wake anyone up. 

Untill I see a figure sitting at the kitchen table with a peer put next to it. "mom?" 

She doesn't say a single word but only gives me one of those pointed looks. For god's sake I'm 23, what's her problem now?

"Just got of the phone with Mitch..." not this bullchit again:"He was telling me that you were drunk and acting inappropriate at some stupid bar" I don't have to explain myself to her. I take a water bottle out of the refrigerator and take a long, long sip.

" I don't trust him around Serena mom"

"What?"

"It's the way he  touches her, you know? It's an instinct, something's not right mom"

"An instinct, honey?" She's a mother she must understand what I'm trying to say.

"Look, I am so sorry that I've put you through all of this lately. I also know that my episodes can trigger yours. If you haven't been taking your meds--"

"Mom, come on. Seriously? You know what I'm talking about. This happened to you!"

She sighs and takes a long deep breath. "God, I wish I hadn't told you that" she thinks I didn't hear her mumble it under her breath but I sure did hear.

"That was complicated, okay?" She looks at me with a worried look or something like that.

"Look, sometimes... you and me, we jus-- we can't trust ourselves, honey. Every day, I wish you didn't get my brain, but you did"

I sigh, she always tries to blame our fucking brains. I'm fucking considering making her overdose right now.

"And so you have to be very careful when you get these 'instincts' of yours."

"I'm not having an episode, mother"

"Well, It's looking a lot like it did last time though." I can't believe she even considers me to stop taking my meds at all. I shake my head unable to form any correct sentence.

"You don't get to do this, mom." I walk away to my room. "I'm done with this!" I take a big bag and start to pack all my necessities. That motherfucking Karen kinda person stands in my doorway with a sinister smile on her ugly face.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"I'm gonna go live in London with Dave."

"London? I thought you were gonna pass your senior test?"

"You were there. You saw what happened."

"Well, you can take it again in six months."

I pause packing for a second "Why do you suddenly care about me becoming a coach so much?"

"Do you seriously think I wanted you to become a coach? I wanted you to pass that test, so that you could finally put everything that happened to you behind you!"

"Never gonna happen."

"Get back on the competition track where you belong."

"You and me, Kat, we're the same--"

Ah hell no, I'm never gonna be like that bitch.

"--always trippin at the finish line."

I scoff, what a bullshit. "God, I wish we had Serena's toughness. I really do."

"There is no 'we' mom!... I'm not gonna lose three jobs in three years 'cause I keep forgetting to take my meds. I'm not gonna sleep with losers who throw me away after one night! I'm not gonna train my children so hard, my youngest ends up in the emergency room! There is no 'we'"

"Yeah, if I'm so horrible, then why did I drive you to 5:00 a.m. practise every day for fucking ten years? Why did I fight to get you all the best coaches and work overtime every chance I could get so that you could have ice time?"

During her rant, my bag is slung over my left shoulder and my feet are leading me out the door.

"Why did I pay all your medical bills for two years after your fall?" now she got my attention for sure.

I swiftly turn around getting mad furious. "Don't try and make this all about me! This has always been about you!"

"You just can't stand to let Serena have a turn in the spotlight, can you?" O my god, you're done, you're done! "Maybe you should go Katherina Baker." Yeah that surely wasn't my plan all along bitch! I speed of to god knows where. Tears are falling down my cheeks and for as far as I'm trying so hard to keep my sobs in, it just won't work. I'm done with it. I'm done with everything. I'm done with work, I'm done with my stupid mother. I'm done with skating!