Captivating Flower

45

This will be Heather Amaryllis Solace's last pov.

When I was a kid, I promised myself that I would only marry the man I loved. My parents always say that do not settle for less. Don't beg to someone who don't see your worth.

My parents taught me how to be strong in life. Binibigay nila lahat ng gusto ko kahit hindi ko naman hinihingi. Inalagaan, pinakain, pinag-aral na isa naman talagang dapat na responsibilidad ng isang magulang.

Well I guess all of their lectures to me was worth it.

I grew up witnessing how they love each other. Sa pananaw ko, perpekto ang relasyon nilang dalawa. I even wished that I wanted to have a relationship like my parents.

Jake came into my life. We were happy and in love. I said that I wanted to marry him in the future. He became my strength and weakness. Jake also became my rest and home.

I never beg for his attention. I never beg for his time. I never beg for the things that I wanted because he's willing to give it all to me even though I'm not asking for it.

But life sucks. It ruined everything, my family, life, relationship with Jake, studies, lifestyle, and my dream.

I was so devastated and tired when I left Jake. Nang iwan ko siya ay lumipat kami sa Canada. I tried to move on, I tried to heal, but something came. Isang masamang panaginip na kahit kailan ay hindi ko makakalimutan.

My mom died. She died.

When she died, I felt like my world had crashed. Hindi ko alam kung paano ako gigising sa araw-araw na iisipin kong wala na siya. Pilit kong pinapasok sa utak ko na buhay pa siya at nasa tabi ko lang siya.

Kahit sa huling sandali niya sa mundo, ako pa rin ang iniisip niya. I cried that night thinking how can I be okay again when mom already left me. Hindi ko man lang naparamdam sa mga huling sandali niya kung gaano ko siya kamahal.

Dad was there with me, crying. He repeatedly says sorry to mom. Para akong tanga na nakatulala sa kawalan. Umiiyak at patuloy na nagmakaka-awa na ibalik nila so mommy kasi ang sakit sakit. Lahat ginawa ni mommy para palakihin ako nang maayos kahit hindi niya ako tunay na kadugo.

Parang paulit-ulit akong sinasaksak tuwing naaalala ko kung paano niya ako intindihin kahit sa huling sandali niya. She still loves me even though I ignored them when I knew that I was adopted.

I tried to find my real parents, but I didn't succeed. Ginawa ko lahat ng makakaya ko, pero wala. I wanted to see them. Gusto ko silang tanungin kung bakit nila nagawang ipamigay ako.

But I already moved on. Before I go back to the Philippines, I settled everything, making sure that I'm mentally, emotionally, and physically stable.

And now, I'm already happy and contented.

"Mahal, let's eat."

I opened my eyes and I saw Jake beside me sitting. I opened my arms so he would give me a hug. I'm so addicted to him. He smiled and hugged me. He also kissed my forehead.

"Come on, our baby is hungry." Binuhat niya ako nang pa bridal style hanggang makababa kami. Gusto kong ibaba niya na ako dahil feeling ko ay mas bumigat na ako lalo.

When I started my pregnancy, this has been my insecurity. Gaining so much weight. But of course, Jake was there to tell me that it's normal because i'm carrying our baby.

"Ibaba mo na ako, love. I feel so heavy na naman." I pouted after saying that. He smiled and pinched my cheeks.

"You're so cute, mahal. And you're not heavy po. Diba sabi ko sa 'yo na it's normal because you're carrying our baby." He kissed my forehead while still carrying me.