TEENAGE DREAM - stranger things

o n e

Grief.

Grief is something that never really goes away.

I want to stop feeling this way. I want to stop feeling this guilt. I want to be better, but it's like my mind isn't letting me. My mind is telling me if I try to be better, then I don't miss them anymore, telling me that I don't love them anymore just because I don't want to let myself become anymore drained.

I don't want to feel this grief anymore.

***

"Dad please slow down! You're drunk!" I scream at my father from the backseat.

My mom is unconscious in the passenger seat. My dad hit her in the head with a bottle.

"Shut up, Courtney!" He slurs, the car swerves slightly at his outburst.

I cry, "Please dad."

He turns back to look at me, tears stained down my cheeks.

"Be quiet!" He shouts and turns back to face the road.

A few seconds later, he drives off the road and the car rolls. The windows break and the shards fly in every direction.

I struggle to unbuckle my seat belt and check my moms pulse. None.

"Please. No. Mom wake up!" I cry and shake her.

When she doesn't wake up, I turn and check to see if my dad has a pulse. None.

I cry and lean back into the seat. My eyes feel heavy and I close my eyes as I hear sirens getting louder.

"Courtney?"

"Courtney?"

"Hello? Earth to Courtney?" Mike's voice breaks through my thoughts.

"Sorry." I say and show a small smile.

"It's okay." He says.

"Are you hungry or anything, dear?" Karen asks me.

"No, I'm okay Auntie. Thank you." I respond.

She smiles at me and turns back around to face the road.

It had been a month since the accident. Child services finally sent me to live with my Aunt for my senior year.

I've always loved summer. I had no school. I didn't have to stay at home most nights. That was the best part. I hated being at home with my drunk dad there.

"What're we going to do today?" I ask, hoping to do something to distract myself.

"We can go to the mall?" Nancy suggests.

I smile, "Yeah that sounds great. I need some new summer clothes anyway."

"I'm hanging out with El today." Mike says.

"Who's El?" I question. Does my little cousin Mile have a girlfriend?

My thoughts are answered when Nancy speaks, "His girlfriend."

"Nancy, what the hell?" Mike smacks his sisters shoulder.

"You have a girlfriend?" I gape.

"Kind of." He rolls his eyes and my aunt giggles from the drivers seat.

The rest of the drive is filled with Nancy and Mike hitting each other and their mom yelling at them to stop.

We arrive at my new home and Nancy shows me to my new room.

"We'll head to the mall in like an hour? Is that okay?" She asks me.

"Yeah. That's fine." I answer and place my suitcase down.