16. Pour The Bottle

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It's been a week since I told Owen he should move out. As far as I can tell, he hasn't made any plans to do so - if Gwen's pants breaching the floor between the kitchen and the bedroom are any indication, he hasn't done anything I've asked him to at all.

My sleeplessness has continued, only getting a couple hours a night, so I'm always up with a mug of coffee and some files I swiped from the Hub when either of them comes out of the bedroom disheveled and sleepy. Gwen at least has the decency to look embarrassed; Owen just stares at me with various expressions. None of them are ever positive.

A particular morning sees me on my second mug of Nescafe Instant when Owen appears in the kitchen alone, and also... naked!
I chuck a cushion at him from the sofa and shout, "Put it away!" and he just smirks.
"Reminding you of old times, Evy?"
"It's Evelina, and just shut up and put on some pants," I demand, and before he goes back inside the room I swear I watch his face fall when I correct him.

He thought Evy was our special nickname. Well lets see what he thinks when I take that away.
And yes, I know that's incredibly petty, but it's the best I can think of in my sleep-deprived state.

We walk to work side by side in silence, easy conversation having fallen by the wayside since the start of the affair. I have to admit, our commutes have gotten lonely, but I've made it pretty clear that things only get back to normal if he stops it with Gwen.

As soon as we get into the Hub, we are sucked into an argument between Jack and everyone else - not uncommon for our team's arguments.
"I just don't understand how you can't like ABBA - they're the most famous group ever!" Ianto protests, and despite my slow sleepy brain I gasp in shock.
"You don't like ABBA?" I say to him, and he simply shakes his head.
"I've heard them too much since the Seventies - they're annoying to me now."
Ianto's sloping eyes widen accusingly. "Life is too short to pretend you don't like ABBA," he declares, and I point at him to testify despite the fact I'm pretty sure our lives are forever long. That's not the point here.

Jack simply shrugs, so Tosh jumps in: "Right, I don't care if you're our boss - out. You're not allowed back until you agree that Dancing Queen is the best song ever!"
We all laugh at that, and everything feels normal until I catch Gwen glancing at Owen, and I'm reminded that it's not.

~∆~

"I wanna get hammered tonight," I declare whilst me and Toshiko are working together on deciphering an alien pyramid thing.
She stares at me. "I thought you didn't like drinking?"
"Ah, but you see, there's the thing - I haven't drunk in ages," I point out. "Time to paint the town red."
She smiles apologetically. "Sorry, Eve, but I'm actually going on a date tonight."

Hold on, hold on, stop the presses! My baby sister has a date? Aaaaahhhh!
I drop the doodad I'm making that is scanning for specific compounds, and shake her side to side. "I need details! Are they totally gorgeous? Are they clever? Are they really really into you? Cuz if they're not, I'll totally break their legs for you, you know I will."
Toshiko laughs and gently detaches my hands. "Don't worry, she's totally into me. And yes, she's very beautiful, and not that clever but more street smart than anything. We're going to that gay bar in town and sitting in the outdoor area cuz we're not really party people, but we need a safe space."

"I'm so happy for you, Tosh!" I exclaim excitedly and envelop her in a tight hug, which she laughs into and receives with warmth.

And I'm totally not thinking about how sad and lonely my life is now. Definitely not.

~∆~

"So you asked him to move out, just like that? I thought you liked him?"
I've managed to herd out to the pub one of my best friends, Amber Johnson, but now I'm kinda regretting it because ever since I brought up Owen she can't stop talking about him. Hello? I'm sipping on this G&T to forget about that man!

I take another drink and reply to her, "I still like him, and I could take us two just being fuck buddies and both of us having other lovers, but now that he's started with Gwen - I just can't bear to look at him anymore. I thought he was better than this, Amber."
I turn my head to look at her as she contorts her dark plump lips into a pout.
"I thought that he had healed from his past, at least a little bit. I thought he had more morals, more sense. Now I realise I was just kidding myself."

Feelings of bitterness and regret for liking the rat bastard, I finish my drink quickly and hail the bartender for another. As soon as I get it, I down half the glass, and Amber stares.
"Evie!" she exclaims, astonished. "Have you ever had this much alcohol before?"
"No," I shrug, "But I know it's a depressant at the same time as a numbness, and that's all I need right now."

~∆~

I almost bang into my door, and laugh at how funny it is that I banged into my door. Fuck, where are my keys? Keys?

The door opens by itself, and I stagger back and widen my eyes at Owen frowning on the other side of it.
"Where have you been?" he asks like I'm a child. I wave my hands dismissively and they nearly hit his face, which is really funny.

"I just had a bit to drink!"
I laugh and cup his cheeks, saying, "I want to kiss you so bad, bruh," but he pushes me off of him and mumbles something.
"Huh?" I ask as I stumble into our flat, and he replies louder, "I'm not having sex with you while you're drunk. It's weird."

"Well, that's a first," I say, and he stares at me hurt, but I've already stuttered into the room and fallen on the bed. Oh my God, the bed is so nice.
"Owen, come sleep with me," I demand. He says that it's his room anyway and fusses round me while I gradually go to sleep.

Night night Owen.

Owen's POV

I brush a lock of her black fringe out of her eyes, knowing it'll annoy her in the night if I don't, and again I look at her and sigh.

Why do I take it upon myself to monumentally screw everything up?

Me and Evelina were tight. We were mates, we were coworkers, we were fuck buddies, we were going great. I even pretended to be fine with her bringing people back. But then I started this sodding affair with Gwen even though I know it's wrong, and she wants me to move out.

I've really cocked it up this time.

I undress so I'm just in my boxers and slip under the covers, resisting the urge to curve my arms around her waist because I know when she wakes up she won't like it. Instead, I curl my arms around my own waist and pretend she's next to me, her soft breath so close to me it calms me from my own thoughts.

I know it's wrong to sleep with a committed woman. But not gonna lie, shagging Gwen is... let's just say, Rhys must not be much cop, cuz with her it's anything but vanilla. I like it. I'm hungry for it - but then I look at Evelina and again I'm reminded of how much more important being with her is than being with Gwen. But I still want that new feeling, that animal inside me wanting more.

I can't let go of either of them. And I can just tell it's gonna end in both me and Evy getting hurt.

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