Finding love in the silence

Chapter 8

****buck****

Buck sat there looking at the message, he had started replying casually till his brain had read the message again and he deleted the message he just typed.

Sitting in the apartment it felt like his thoughts were just bouncing round the place, Owen was on a 24 hour shift so Tk explained that Buck was to crash at his and Carlo's to which they both left for shift when they dropped Buck off.

Had Eddie meant it as a friendly meet up and drink or was it asking him out. Buck started to think back Eddie never actually said he was into guys, the only thing he knew was that his wife had died. But thinking about how easy they found it to talk, it was only natural for one of them to propose drinks.

Noticing the time he knew that a reply would have to be quick as the last thing he wanted to do was keep Eddie up, so he replied to Eddie.

'Sure, be nice, there's a nice coffee shop Tk took me to on the way back from the airport, should make chatting easier. Let me know when just not tomorrow as I have a busy day visiting the firehouse and a meal. Sorry for the late reply.'

He quickly places his phone down and groans as he leans his head back. Buck always knew he fell for people too quickly and that's the problem that seems to be appearing now. Eddie was a guy he had saved and happened to be having great conversations with. Everything was easy. And that was the problem. It felt too easy.

To take his mind off it all he started cleaning, granted it wasn't messy obviously Carlos was very ocd with cleaning, everything had a place and was set straight. Buck knew TK was never the easiest to make the effort to clean. Eventually after walking around doing what little there was to do he flops down on the sofa and sticks the TV on and ends up nodding off.

"Buck." It's a soft voice and Buck looks around he's back in the apartment with Alex, but the voice isn't Alex.

"Buck, come on, wake up." The voice sounds more recent, he shifts a bit and slowly opens his eyes.

As he adjusts he realises he is on his back on the sofa and looking up at the ceiling. Looking to the side he see's Carlos sitting on the table looking at him and smiling.

"He awakes." Carlos says smiling.

"Shit sorry, didn't mean fall asleep." Buck explains as he sits up.

"Buck, there's no need to apologise, but there's a spare bed through there for you, so no need to fall asleep on the sofa." Carlos states, Buck knew the bed was there but he didn't get the choice in falling asleep.

"Yeah, but my body said no sleep here so I did, how was the shift?" Buck asks, if he was honest it was weird been alone with Carlos, he had been with TK and no doubt TK had told him all about their relationship which puts Buck at a severe disadvantage.

"Was a quiet one, I'd ask what you did but it's obvious." Carlos points to the kitchen where Buck had tidied up.

"Can't stand the mess." Buck mumbles out as he stands up.

"Well you know how messy TK can be." Carlos says and there it was the comparison.

"Ugh.. yeah but that was many many years ago." Buck explains.

"Yeah it was, but he's still hurt from it all and I know you are, you're just as bad as he is at not speaking about it, you rather suffer in silence and do whatever to cope with it." Carlos explains, Buck looks at him in shock with how blatant he was.

"We're fine, we are friends, it didn't work and now he has you and I have.... No one." Buck says, just like TK no one wanted to stay with him, he couldn't blame TK though there was a lot going on for him, but everyone always just left him.