paris | madwheeler ♡

12 | storming

" vivante "
— trigger warning for mention of suicidal thoughts!

thunder crashed through the sky, making it awfully unbearable to sleep. max covered her ears as lighting lit up her room in a frightening glow.
mike had left her room hours before, falling asleep quickly. max wondered how that was physically even possible considering the ruckus from outside.

her braided hair rested against her bare shoulder, tank-top strap falling over her arm, as she tossed and turned attempting to shut out the noise.

loud noises was always a trigger for max, due to her parents always fighting, and issues with her step brother. she never liked storms.

though, mike never minded them. he wouldn't think twice about standing in the middle of a lightening storm if he needed to. he didn't mind.
max would much rather hide under covers. she would never admit that though.

maxine pushed the covers to the side, siding her legs out of them, and placing her feet onto the floor.
she faced the window.
she was so exhausted, yet so wide awake.

lightening lit up her face, while thunder crashed a few moments after. she turned, quickly. opening the door and leaving her room.

she craved a sense of comfort.

him.

max turned the door knob to michael's room, pushing it open very hesitantly.

"mike? are you awake?" she spoke softly, over the trees wrestling outside.

"mm?" he spoke, still every much asleep. max looked behind her, contemplating leaving and just going back to her room. "what's wrong, max?" he asked, propping himself up with his right arm, to look towards the doorway the redhead stood in.

"i can't sleep."

"come in." mike said, moving his head sideways to indicate inviting her in.
max stepped into the room, shutting the door behind her, quietly. max met mike on the bed, he moved over, closer to the wall to make room for the girl to sit, and she did.

she was so infatuated with the thought of him, but she was never designed to be a careless, lovestruck, idiot. it hit her hard realizing that lucas would never forgive her sins. she hated hurting other people, even if they hurt her first. but max couldn't hide from the fact that no matter how often she tries pushing mike away, it's her fault for always turning around and collapsing back into his sweet words.

mike's tired eyes fell onto hers, "are you okay?" he spoke softly, almost a whisper.

"yeah." she mumbled, a small smile formed over her sad thoughts, but it dropped when he seemed to look straight through her. he rested his hand on her bare thigh, looking up to her, as the lie replayed in her mind.

"talk to me." he spoke.

she withheld the words in which, she thought she'd never speak aloud. but she couldn't stop herself from speaking her mind, for it was too late now.

"i can't be with you, mike."

"what?"

she turned away from him, looking at the floor ahead of her, as she faced away from him. he brought her so much comfort, yet so much fear and hurt held her shoulders down.

"we shouldn't do this anymore, it's wrong."

mike looked at her up in down, trying to read her thoughts through her. she was never good at expressing her emotions the way she wanted to. while jane was more overdramatic, max was the complete opposite.

"what's wrong about this?" he asked, letting his finger tips gently push into her skin, for he didn't want her to go anywhere.

"were hurting people by being together." she said, looking over her shoulder.

"everyone knows, it's said and done. lucas will get over it. there's no point in stopping while we're already so far from the beginning."

"that's right, the beginning. you remember how all of this started? how are we suppose to form a healthy relationship off of that?" she asked, turning her body towards him, wanting a genuine answer. he pulled her legs closer to him.

"i'm not saying it'll be perfect, but i think we owe it to each other to try."

"i don't owe you anything." she stated, blank expression across your face.

"max, you deserve to have a chance at being happy. i know i make you feel happy, even if you're too proud to admit that." he said.
she scoffed, turning to the side.

"you don't understand mike. i don't have a happy, healthy, example of love. i mean, look at my parents. all they do is fight, they're never happy." max said, trying not to tear up talking about her personal life.

"hey, it's okay." he said, resting his hand on her back, now. "listen, even if you don't have a healthy perception of love, that doesn't mean you don't deserve it." he said. she was crying now. it was hard not to.

"i don't mean to dump this on you." she said, wiping her salty tears away. "but you don't know the amount of times i've thought about just ending it all." max was finally allowing herself to be vulnerable, for once.

"like... kill yourself?" he asked, with a puzzled expression. she didn't answer, she just tried not to look at him. "look, i know we've had a rocky relationship from the start." he paused, "but i care so deeply about you, max. okay? i care, i'm listening. i'm here." he reassured. he wasn't sure how to handle such news like this, of course it was a lot of information to take in, but he wanted her to know how he feels. she matters.

"you deserve to feel happy." he said, sitting up just a bit, to reach her face, turning it slightly to the side. the feeling of his finger tips against her skin always gave her a feeling of hope.
max almost forgot about the thunder that was making her so very uneasy before all of this.

"even if that's not with me." he continued. "i—"

"please, just shut up and kiss me." she said, pulling his face forward and crashing her lips into his.
of course this contrasted with everything she had spoke about before, but she didn't care.
god, she feels so much better getting that off her chest.
just hearing him say that he cared, even if he was lying through his teeth, she didn't care. about any of it. in this moment she realized how important living for yourself is. she didn't put her life in mike's hands, but he made it slightly bearable to say the least.

mike, move his arm, pulling her waist in closer. they parted, and mike's tired eyes fluttered back open.
max leaned back, allowing herself to fully relax on his bed, while he covered her with his thin blankets, that they now shared.
mike kept his hand rested around her waist.

"you make me feel so alive." she whispered.

and with that, max finally drifted off to sleep. mike not to far behind her.