Trials and Tribulations - [Bensler EO]

Part Twenty Eight - Rash

It was far too simple for her liking.

In order to understand it, she needed the fiasco. She needed the complicated words and the complicated steps. In order to understand how fucking horrible it was, she wanted to be able to completely misunderstand it all.

Instead, it was boring and basic. God, if her life was going to fall apart, she at least deserved it to be chaos.

It was as simple as two pills and three appointments a week for six weeks. Of course, she knew there was bound to be bumps in the road. There would be nights where her body would become overwhelmed with hell and there would be days where everything went wrong.

In some ways, strange ways, she preferred the simplicity. It didn't feel like any true part of herself actually wanted the chaos. The part of her that was living in the darkness was what craved the dramatics of what was to come. It felt unfamiliar.

Or maybe she just didn't know what the fuck she wanted.

Elliot had moved in. It took her a few weeks to realize that she actually did want that. At first, the apprehension came from the fear of his pity. She didn't want his pity. But, he knew her well enough to figure out how to make it feel like more than pity.

Parts of her were giving up on the things in life that weren't essential. Keeping even the bare minimum requirements in her life up to date was hard enough. Things like eating meals and brushing her hair were so damn exhausting. He was there to help with that. When her body was too tired and her mind was too numb to even remember what hunger feels like, he was there with a plate of whatever seemed appetizing. It was as if he could sense it in her. No matter what it was that she needed, he was ready and waiting with it.

A natural born care-giver.

She was too tired to beat herself up for relying on him.

Two pills, three appointments, a whole lot of hope, and Elliot Stabler. If she would survive, that's what she depended on.

It started with a rash. She had no clue that another one of the scariest moments of her life would begin with something so small and simple. A raised patch of red skin on her outer thigh. Day three after beginning chemotherapy, the effects started to take place.