Trials and Tribulations - [Bensler EO]

Part Twenty Two - Desolation III

Usually, she was keen on going to doctor's appointments alone. For a while, she had considered it to be the easier option. Only, she had misconstrued the idea of what 'easy' had meant. Her version of 'easy' was taxing on her emotions, but simpler when it came to the people around her. It left her considering herself less of a burden.

After what happened when Simon had left, she didn't really give a shit about which version of easy she wanted. So, when Elliot had quietly offered to accompany her to the appointment, she hadn't turned him down. She didn't give much of a reply, actually. More or less a shrug and a whispered acceptance.

The exceptional light in her eyes, her signature feature, was gone. He had seen a switch flip inside of her as soon as he'd released her from the earth-shattering grip he'd held her in. He hadn't seen her way of life the first time, back when her diagnosis was still raw and vivid. She had sheltered everyone from that for a variation of time. The lack of light in her eyes back then was something that he had been spared from. This side of Olivia was new to him.

It terrified him to say the least.

That night, they had parted from the hug and moved to the couch. She didn't even need to explain herself, he knew what had happened. She'd cried herself to sleep against him that night, an image in front of him that he'd never thought he'd ever see. Her exhausted body limp against him as if she had just given a full-body exhale and refused to breathe in again.

He'd thrown her legs over his arms, careful not to wake her as he carried her back to her bed. She'd felt lighter than he expected, but he was also playing the dangerous game of pretending this reality wasn't real. He'd taken a route similar as her, allowing the IVF to be the main focus for the time being.

He didn't want to think about the fact that she was shedding weight and growing pale due to the terror her body was under.

But he'd taken notice. He'd noticed that her skin was losing its olive-toned glow. He'd seen that her clothes were practically hanging off of her body at this point. Sometimes he even wondered if some of the bruises that covered her skin were from the constant injections or just the plain fact that her body was going through horrendous changes.

She only had a few more days left of that, the IVF and the bright red sharps container on her countertop was becoming less translucent as it filled with discarded needles. He wasn't ready to think about what would come after, but now he didn't have a choice. He'd made a promise to stick by her through this, and he kept his promises.

He had stayed that night. When Simon had left and she was wading through the waters of exhaustion and fear. He'd made himself comfortable on the couch, afraid to leave her by herself. When she had woken up and found him there, she had figured that he'd just returned by morning, too exhausted to notice that he was wearing the same clothes. He didn't bother correcting her.

That was when he'd truly noticed the light in her eyes was gone.

She'd walked in the kitchen, her arms crossed over the oversized sweater she'd been wearing. Her stare had no real focus, attaching onto whatever was in front of her. Her words were flat and dull, monosyllabic. He'd prepared her morning injection for her and a cup of tea.