Well. I tried reading some Jeff The Killer fanfictions.
I cried.
No joke.
Oh god it burns.
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When I woke up, I was in a dark room.
"OH EHM GEEEEEEEEAAAA" I started crying. I'm so scared!!! Marrying a total stranger is fine, but waking up?!?! THE HORROR!!!! Suddenly, Luke from 5sause walked in!!!1!!1!1
"I KIDNAPPED YOU!" He screamed, ripping his shirt off ;).
"OH EM GEEE!!!! Why would you do that?" I sighed. Staring at his 10-pack. (He's totally ripped, but not as ripped as Jeff. He's like, an 8 I guess. Harry's a total 9.7. IDK where Jeff or Edwerd are on that scale? Maybe a 8.347)
"Uh..." Luke started "I don't know. It's probably a dare or something stupid like that. But for now I'm going to be a total dick and not tell you. I'll probably sleep with you or hit you later because apparently chicks like you dig that.
"OH EM GEEE SO SEXXAAAAAAYYYYYY."
Suddenly Ashton walked in!
"Okay. So, since this is a kidnapping story, we need one of us to be really nice. And one of us to be a total dick... So yeah" THEN HE SLAPPED ME OH MY GAWSH THATS SO FUKKKNN MEAN EVEN THOUGH I JUST SAID LUKE IS SEXAY FOR MIND RAPING ME!!!!!
"Stop it Ashton! I LOVE HER!!!" Luke yelled! "I.... I can't leave her... Because she's.. PREGNANT WITH MY BABY!!!"
OH EM GEEEEE IM PREGGEEERRSS!!! AGAIN!!!
Suddenly, the world faded to black.
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In all honesty, I'm totally down with guys being dicks (I don't date 'players' or anything. Non-otaku's don't appreciate us tsunderes, player or not). But it annoys the crap out of me wHEN A GIRL FALLS IN LOVE WITH A KIDNAPPER. ITS LIKE DUDE. SOME OF US ARE MASOCHISTS, SURE, BUT THATS NOT HOW YOU GET LAID.
BUY HER FLOWERS, THROW A FUCKING LOVE NOTE ATTACHED TO A BRICK AT HER. ANYTHING BUT KIDNAPPING HER. THIS IS WHY IM BI. WHEN GUYS ARE DICKS I CAN JUST GO AHEAD AND DATE A GIRL.
*sigh* This book is my main way of yelling my unpopular opinions.
Excuse any grammar/spelling mistakes I made. I do not own Jeff, or Edward, or Ashton, or- OH SCREW THIS. WHY DO PEOPLE DO THIS???? WE ALL KNOW THAT YOU ARENT 5SOS's MANAGER WRITING FANFICTION ABOUT THEM. STFU.
YOU ARE READING
Every. Single. Wattpad. Story.
HumorEveryone hates cliches. They're annoying, and they make the story the most predictable thing on the universe. So I decided to shove as many cliches as I can, into one book. This book isn't written in english, it's written in sarcasm. ENJOY!
