With You In My Life

Chapter 2

"Sars, remind ko lang sayo alas syete (7) ang call time natin sa rehearsal mo , at 6 punta na tayo dun. "

"Okay, po . "

With my team, i decided to treat them , pasasalamat na din sa mga oras na nilaan nila para sa akin. Nandito kami ngayon sa isang private restaurant. Pinasadya ko talagang ipasarado ang restaurant na ito at kami lang ang makakagamit nito sa ngayon because I only want the best for my team. I know they gave their time and effort and all para lang pagsilbihan ako, and now , it's the best time na ako na din ang babawi para sa kanila.

"Sars, ang galing mo ha ". Sabi sa akin ng isa kong make up artist.

"Po? " Takang tanong ko sa kanya, I don't know what he's saying, or should i say what SHE'S saying, he's gay by the way.

"Trending ka na naman oh ". Sabay bigay sa akin ng phone niya.

And yes, totoo nga, trending na naman ako sa twitter. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ako trending sa mga oras na ito , as far as i remember, wala akong ginawa para pag piyestahan na naman ako sa social media.
I gave back the phone to my make up artist without saying anything, i just continued eating .

"Guys, mag enjoy nalang muna tayo ngayon, hayaan niyo nalang muna yan , ubusin nating tong inorder natin ha ". Sabi ko sa team ko. Nagtaka man silang tinitigan akong kumakain pero sinunod din nila ako. Tahimik lang kaming kumakain until.....

"Hi, Sarah. " It's matt.

I don't know what i am gonna do right now , gusto kong tumakbo palayo sa kanya pero hindi gumagalaw ang katawan ko .
I was stunned when i saw him beside me , standing.

"Ahm,ah,ma-att" bulol kong sabi sabay tayo sa harapan niya , buti nalang nakagalaw pa ako.

"Hey, where are you going? Iiwan mo lang ba yung team mo ? San kaba pupunta ? And, bakit parang gulat na gulat ka pagka kita sa akin?" Sunod sunod niyang tanong sa akin while his right hand was holding my arm. Dahan dahan kong kinuha ang kamay niya na nakahawak sa braso ko.

I know his mad at me and this time , hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko. It's just that ayaw ko siyang makita muna sa ngayon , and i didn't expect this to happen. When I saw him looking intently at me , i couldn't help myself but to stare at his powerful eyes. His eyes, full of questions, full of sadness.

"Ahm, ah mag c-cr lang muna ako , ah guys, I'll be back. " Paalam ko sa team ko and tuluyan ng umalis sa harapan ng lalaking makahulugan kung tumitig sa akin.

I was at the comfort room staring at the mirror, i need to do something , i need to confront him . But i was scared. It's my fault. It's really me. Wala akong mukhang ihaharap sa kanya ngayon. Although , more than 4 years had passed when it happened pero para sa akin , parang kahapon ko lang siyang nasaktan. Hindi ko alam kung bakit alam niyang nandito kami ngayon ng team ko. I'll confront him , yes. I don't have a choice. I was staring at my reflection in the mirror when my phone vibrates. It was Kuya Rj, my hairstylist who texted me.

"Sars, he's still here. U need to face him."

Lumabas na ako ng c.r , and when i opened the door from the comfort room, our eyes met. My world stops as he stared at me and i was still standing at the door . Hindi ko alam kung ilang minuto kaming nagtitigan but I'm sure , matagal kaming nagtitigan. The stares he gave me is so deep , breathtaking, meaningful.

I slowly go back to my seat and faked a cough. "ahm, a-anong g-ginagawa m-mo d-dito?" i swear, i can't look at him this time , so i decided to bow my head and look on the floor. I can't face him, not today, not ever.

" Nice to see you, again." He said.

Four words . My heart beats so fast. I slowly tilted my head and there i saw him staring at me and my heart keep on beating so fast . I bow down my head again , looking at my phone pretending there's someone texting . Bahala na.

Then my phone rings. Thank God , kung sino man itong tumatawag, I owe you a lot. Dali dali kung sinagot at hindi ko na tiningnan kung sino man itong tumatawag sa akin.

"Hello" i answered.

"Sars, nasaan kana ? Rehearse na tayo."

Shoot, i almost forgot may rehearsal pala kami and it's already 7:15 . I'm late!

"Ah, sige po paalis na po " i answered.

I was so happy this time, magkakaroon na ako ng dahilan para umalis.

"Ahm, guys, i need to go, may rehearsal pa po pala kami , I'll go ahead. Tatawagan ko kayo mamaya . " I said.

"Ahm, ma-tt , ahm, sorry i need to go importante kase . " Hindi ko na hinintay ang sagot niya, and I'm heading out to the restaurant . I immediately ran to my car , nandun na din naman ang driver ko .
I felt guilty about what i act to Matteo. This is not the right time for us to talk, i can't. I just really can't.

"Dude, hindi ka ba naaawa sa sarili mo ? Wala ka na ba talagang ibang magawa sa buhay mo kundi ang habulin ang babaeng ayaw naman sayo ? You know what, ang daming babaeng humahabol sayo, pero dun ka parin sa babaeng iniwan ka ? Hindi ka na ba natuto? Eto, payo ko lang sayo ha , learn to move on, learn to love again , learn to forget. Tigilan mo na si Sarah, she's already happy with someone else , wala ka na sa buhay niya, please bro, set her free. "

Andito kami ngayon sa isang resto bar , kasama ko si jeric, my partner in crime. Lahat ng tungkol sa akin alam na alam niya, siya lang yung taong palagi kong kasama in my entire life. Well, my mom and dad ? They leaved me, alone. Hindi ko na sila kailangan. Masaya na ako on my own , i can do what i want , I'm already successful, I. Don't. Need. Them.

"Jeric, hindi mo ako naiintindihan." Sabay inom ng isang basong serbesa.
I don't care kung wala na ako sa buhay niya , gusto ko siyang gantihan sa ginawa niya sakin . Of all women na naging girlfriend ko, siya lang yung nagparamdam sa akin ng ganito , siya lang yung may kayang saktan ako , she leaved me, pero kahit kailan hindi ko siya nakalimutan . 4 years , 4 years had passed , siya paren. Wala ng iba. Wala akong pakialam kung wala na ako sa buhay niya, the way she act kanina sa restaurant, i know she's still affected, it's obvious . I know she's still into me. After niyang umalis, umalis na din ako , i decided not to follow her so i went to jeric's house instead para samahan akong pumunta sa resto. Kung susundan ko siya, hindi niya padin ako kakausapin. Maybe I just give her a little more time para maging ready siya na kausapin ako.

4 years ago... (flashback)

"Sarah, don't leave me , please. Please , I'm begging you. Anong pwede kong gawin para hindi mo ako iwan, please Sarah , i love you, i love you so much , i love you. " Im crying. I'm kneeling in front of her. I don't wanna lose her , I can't lose her. I love her , so much.

"Matt, tumayo ka , hindi na magbabago ang isip ko. From now on, kalimutan mo na ang tayo. You can't change my mind, it's my decision, and it's final. Please, Matt , just find someone else , please. Kalimutan mo na ako , I can't be with you. Bitawan mo na ako, aalis na ako. " She cried also. Wala na akong magagawa, hindi ko na mababago ang isip niya. Sa mga oras na bibitawan ko siya ngayon , wala na. Tapos na ang meron sa amin.

"Bitawan mo na ako ano ba!" She's mad at me. Hindi ko padin siya binibitawan, I can't set her free. I need her . She's my life. She's my everything. I can't.

"Please, Sarah. I need you. You're my life. Please. Don't leave m-e" halos mawala na ang boses ko dahil sa mga luhang nag uunahan sa pagpatak . This time , wala na akong ibang iniisip kundi siya, siya lang . Without her, I'm empty.

She tried getting my hands off of her and i know anytime now, mabibitawan ko na siya . I'm lost. Nabitawan ko na siya. I was left alone , still kneeling. Those hurtful words she said earlier, still stuck on my mind and my heart. Ang sakit , sobrang sakit.

Wala na akong ibang ginawa nung gabing yun kung hindi ang ibabad ang sarili ko sa pag iinom, it's my comfort zone. Whole night, drinking, crying. I remember those days , sobrang sweet niya sakin. Palagi ko siyang sinusundo after ng rehearsals niya, go on a private date, ihahatid siya pauwi. Ngayon, wala na. Wala na ang buhay ko and without her, I'm nothing.

(End of flashback)