With You In My Life

7

"Sarah? Love okay ka lang?" Si Lloydie.

Nandito kami ngayon sa ASAP studio for the rehearsal. Sinamahan ako ni Lloydie because he wanted to drive for me at hindi naman ako pwedeng tumanggi. For the past weeks, I'm not feeling happy of what happened to Matteo. How can he forgot me? And si Chloe, si Chloe ang hinahanap niya, alam ko na ang tungkol sa kanilang dalawa. Chloe was there when I left Matteo, she's the one who replaced me. I admit, nasaktan ako. Nasaktan ako sa mga nangyayari lately. I can't imagine that Matteo had forgotten me.

"Ah? Oo medyo masakit lang ang ulo ko, Lloydie. Pasensya na hindi kita nakakausap kanina pa." Hindi niya alam ang nangyari kay Matteo, wala din akong balak sabihin sa kanya baka ma misinterpret siya.

"What do you want? You want water? Teka, kunin ko lang tumbler mo ha."

"Sige, salamat." I was thankful that Lloydie was always beside me. He never left me. Pero parang kulang, hindi ko dapat maramdaman ito pero hindi ko ma kontrol ang sarili kong hindi siya isipin. Naaalala niya na kaya ako? Baka hindi. She's already happy with someone else, i guess so. I hope he's happy. He promised himself that he will court me and take me back pero siya lang naman din pala ang sumira sa sarili niyang pangako.

What a fool.

Sarah, you're just hurting yourself. Focus on your job, and focus on Lloydie. Please.

"Ms. Sarah ikaw na daw po ang susunod na mag re - rehears." Sabi ng isang staff sa akin.

"Sige po."

The rehearsal went well. Thank God natapos na din ng maayos ang rehearsal, talagang wala ako sa sarili ko ngayon. Hindi ko alam kung bakit but my mind was not functioning well. Bakit ba kase siya yung naiisip ko? Pinilit kong burahin siya sa buhay ko pero kahit kailan, hindi ko magawa. Ang unfair lang kase, siya basta basta niya lang ako kinalimutan samantalang ako eto, umaasang maaalala niya pa ako. I need to convince myself to forget him, to rub him out of my mind. This is the right thing to do, I need to forget him. He's done with me, that's it.

HE'S DONE WITH ME.

"Ah,Lloydie? You okay? Bat parang tahimik ka?" Nandito na kami sa kotse ni Lloydie at kanina pa siya tahimik habang nag da drive pauwi sa amin.

"Yes. Yes, of course I'm okay. Eh ikaw? Are you okay? You seem not in a mood lately. May problema kaba? Care to tell me?"

"Wala, wala akong problema." Sabay lingon sa bintana. Ayokong sabihin sa kanya ang nararamdaman ko ngayon.

"Hey, I know you have a problem. Now, tell me. Sarah, alam mo namang hindi kita titigilan diba kapag ayaw mong sabihin sa akin ang problema mo?" He took my hand and kissed it with all pleasure. I was so lucky to have Lloydie as my boyfriend right now but I felt incomplete without him, Matteo. Yes, obviously, I still love him, I really do. Kahit kailan hindi naman nawala eh. Gusto ko siyang makita, more than 2 weeks na din ang nakalipas nung huli ko siyang nakausap, nakita. How is he? Is he happy with Chloe? Sana humingi ako ng number ni Chloe para matawagan ko siya, para kamustahin ang kalagayan ni Matt.

"Andito na tayo." Si Lloydie. Hindi ko namalayang nasa gate na kami ng bahay namin.

"Ah, Lloydie, okay ka lang bang talaga?" He seems uncomfortable.

"Sarah, may aaminin sana ako sayo."

"A-ano yun?"

"Sarah, I-ahm."

"Ano yun?"

"Sarah, I'm not happy with our relationship. I want to end our relationship. This is not the kind of relationship I wanted."