Where to start when you don't know where to go.

7. WHY SO MUCH REVOLT?

The desire for Revolution and the status quo.

n some countries, the age of fifteen is celebrated with a big party. The girls wear dresses that look like white wedding cakes, with haute couture cuts and extravagant accessories, marking one of the most important life events at the beginning of adulthood.

The 'Debutant ball' originates from the French word Débutant, whose meaning is "beginner or rookie." It started in the second half of the 16th century, in Europe, when noble families held a big ball in a kind of ritual to introduce their daughters to society and start the new cycle. After such a celebration, the girl-woman was allowed to attend social gatherings and date since the ball also had the function of introducing the girl to future suitors, implying that she was prepared to become a good wife and mother.

That's right, that was my mother's plan for my life: the noble introduction to society. I just thought: "But, to introduce me to society, for what? This has nothing to do with my style, nothing to do with who I am; it is not part of my plans. Neither the idea, nor the dress, nor the ball, nor the guests, nothing".

Anyway, because it is such an "important" date, something had to be done. And so, it was. I had to learn to think quickly about the art of negotiation, build solid arguments, clear ideas, and put everything into practice in order to convince my mother that I already had other plans for spending that money that was about to be used for the ball. Patience was a key factor in convincing my parents that a gathering with the closest friends would be enough.

Still, my mother demanded that the dress should be similar to Paris' 16th-century fashion. Different mindsets were dreaming parallel worlds; however, each one willing to defend their values to the last drop of sweat. As not everything in life happens the way we imagine, I was psychologically prepared to subject myself to anything and fulfill my dream of living abroad, escaping, and being free (according to my conception).

For me, freedom did not wear a white dress symbolizing purity because my values and rules shouted for a sword, a shield, and Wonder Woman's clothes. Part of me felt that I was an extraterrestrial, and the other part screamed for revolution in the 21st century. I lived in a place where few people were aware that speaking different languages was the thought of "normal" people; that is, I belonged to a group of visionaries or the extravagant one.

Who would have guessed that phone books would be replaced by a cell phone? Yeah ... I think I had already imagined! My anxiety and DNA still scream for more information, knowledge, falling into the category of ambition and obsession. Something burned inside my chest, a certainty of duty and preparation for an unknown future physically speaking. However, already designed on the divine plane and in my unconscious—a crazy certainty like Noah, who built an Ark when the rain had not even been in the weather forecast.

Each day I was more confident that this was not the kind of life I wanted for myself. But why did I want to be different, "disgusted," "out of the box," revolutionary, and change my future radically? Why did I want to learn so much and have plans to conquer the world?

The fact was that the photo from that magazine at the age of twelve did not leave my mind. I would wake up with that image fixed in my frontal cortex, being absolutely sure that someday it would be a reality.

Most people have a desire to go to Disney and meet Mickey Mouse; but this was not what I wanted; I wanted to get to know little-explored places, discover different cultures, and continuously challenge myself, that is, create problems to solve - unconsciously increasing my self-esteem.

Having dreams is beautiful, especially when we believe and dare to go after what we really want. I was convinced, and I was thrilled to imagine what it would be like to live outside Brazil and say, "the book is on the table" in real life.