guilt.

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dustin

october 31, 4:56 am
dustin leaned his head into his girlfriend.
"dustin, you did all you could've." his girlfriend reassured, they sat on lucas's porch steps. dustin hadn't ever cried that hard in his life.

"it's all my fucking fault, suzie." he said. his girlfriend holding onto his hand. he didn't want to do anything other than cry.

his girlfriend was the only one who he felt he could be vulnerable around.
as they just got together during summer break after working together as camp counselors, suzie became a very important person in dustin's life. the one person he could really count on.

october 29th, 10:34 am.
mike's eyes focused on hers, janes. as they passed each other in the hallway. giving her a soft smile.
for mike had finally made an effort to befriend jane.

they decided to hang out yesterday, for the first time outside of school. mike had apologize to her for being rude beforehand. he admitted to thinking she was pretty, and he was only being an asshole because he didn't think he was ready to accept more friends into his small social group. but he thought jane was cool. really cool.

he had asked her to hang out at lucas's halloween party. it was friday, and mike wheeler was so ready for the day to be over already.

once mike crossed paths with jane, leaving her behind. he also came across max.

"hey loser." she said, turning to his side.

"hey, ginger." mike said, looking down at the shorter girl. mike never bothered to tell her about jane, he assumed it would be pretty awkward considering what they do behind closed doors. which obviously he wouldn't continue as he was getting into a relationship. but he knew that talk would come out sooner or later.

but that day wasn't today.

he walked by her side, stopping for a brief second to grab his book from his locker, shutting it soon after to continue.

he loved max, and thought of her as his twin flame. he felt as if max was meant to be in his life somehow, she was almost the exact opposite as him, yet so alike. a platonic soulmate, a frenemy.

"i have to be on the second floor, you?" she asked.

"first." he answered. "need me to walk you?"

"nah, i'll see you." she said, her lose, red hair falling behind her as she turned her back to him, heading towards the stairwell.

max left mike to his thoughts, while max decided to do something slightly different than she led on. instead of finding her way to class, she stood inside the girls back room, leaning her arm against the sink.

dustin stood in front of her.

she had forged a late pass for them both, as she does often. she's gotten very good at it.

dustin unzipped his backpack, holding out a small ziplock bag of an unknown substance, max trading it with cash.

drugs.

"thanks." she spoke to him, shoving it in her pocket.

"anytime, max."

unexpectedly, dustin began picking up selling drugs along. max being someone he's been selling to for weeks now. it was kept very quiet, for this was probably her biggest secret, aside from her days with mike wheeler.

dustin left the bathroom, existing, max staying behind in the completely empty room before waiting a few minutes to leave as well.

dustin made it back to his class, just fine.

though, little did they know. will stood across the hall, watching dustin leave before max. he reminded himself that it wasn't his business and to stay out of it.

but he knew. he knew it was drug related. why else would max go to dustin? out of anyone. at first he may have assumed an other hidden situationship, but he made it make more sense.

he tried not to care, pushing the information into the back of his head, and continued on with his day.

max had began doing drugs to escape the realism of the world around her. she had many sleepless nights, many nightmares to keep her wide awake.
at least these would help her sleep.

max walked the empty halls, or so she thought. max hadn't really spoken to lucas in what feels like forever. though, there he was. standing directly in front of her while he began to speak.

"hey, um, i know we haven't talked in a while but i was wondering if you planned on going to my party tomorrow night." he asked.

"oh." she said, for her words seems to form a pit of anxiety in her stomach. "i don't know if i want to waste my saturday partying." she said.

"oh come on, i know you, and i know you how you like to spend your saturdays." he continued to convince.
she took a breath before speaking again.

"fine, i'll go. i guess."
lucas had always felt guilty for the way things had ended between the pair. he wanted to at least try to make an effort to see her again, to talk to her. even if it would never be the same.

lucas had been dealing with some personal things at the time he was dating max, he was struggling very often with his self worth. and he eventually adapted an 'i don't care about anything or anyone' attitude. he never meant to actually hurt max, not emotionally or physically. he would always care about her, deep down. even if he never spoke that allowed.

lucas felt guilty for his absence in her life. for the toxicity and negativity he presented to her while they were together.

much like dustin, he also felt guilty for how friendships ended. he longed to have his friends back, starting with lucas. for they never really had a big reasoning for falling out, it was just personal issues between the both of them. addiction and mental health can ruin people, but people can also change, get better. human beings make mistakes, and learn from them. mind you, they're just teens.



thoughts & theories???  — sadie

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