Alessandro 16+ / Book 1

Chapter 46: Love

When I was initially introduced to the concept of love, I understood only a particular facet of it- the affection shared within my family. At that time, I was not aware of any other variation of love, and neither was anyone my age, but as time elapsed, my understanding of love has not expanded beyond this singular viewpoint.

My family's love is what I am used to. They showed and taught me what love was or what they thought I should know about love back when things were perfect for us, for me.

I was just a baby then, so most of it is a mere memory, seeming it never last.

My family made me experience love for the first and last time.

It did not last long, nor did I get it much from my mother. She was the first before my three hermanos stopped loving me. I am not sure if they actually did love me. I was too young to comprehend the complexity of relationships, but I clung to the belief that they did, as it brought me a sense of comfort.

Papa and Dominic's love was what I did understand because it made me happy. They did not have a choice when they did not love me anymore.

They were just taken.

My love did not last because the people that ever loved me do not anymore.

Either they grew to despise and neglect me, or they were murdered. I only understood the love I once got from them, my family, the only love I understand now but do not get anymore.

I have an inherent longing to experience love similar to the ones depicted in the romance novels I used to read. I often find myself daydreaming about the passionate, all-consuming love that promises a fairytale ending.

I have always wanted to love someone that was not my blood, but I don't know how or what it is. I don't know if it feels different from loving your family.

At her words, my throat becomes parched, my mouth struggling to form words. I even find it hard to breathe as my chest feels tight, sensing a sinking feeling in my stomach as my heart seems to drop.

"I-I-" I begin.

"I understand that this may come across as intrusive and overly personal, but I cannot help but notice the enchanting way the two of you look at each other. Adrienne when you look at him, I can see love emanating from your eyes..." She smiles softly at me. "Your gaze is fixed on him like he is the only person in the world who matters. It is truly magical. I can also see that he looks at you with the same love in his eyes. However, I am uncertain whether you are aware of your feelings for him. As someone who cares for both of you deeply, I do not want to see him heartbroken. So, I would like to confirm whether my perception is accurate, even though it seems highly likely given the obvious display of affection between you two.''

Despite her calm expression, I can feel the seriousness of the conversation weighing on her heavily.

Alessandro and I show each other all kinds of passionate emotions, but the concept of love is a significant one, and I am uncertain if it is applicable in our current situation.

"I mean, I- Alessandro makes me feel all kinds of emotions when it comes to him, and yes, I do care about him very much, but I am not sure if it is love...I am not clever with the word..." I trail off feeling embarrassed, avoiding her eyes and looking through the window that views outside before I turn back at her.

"Love, Adrienne, is an overwhelming emotion that grips your mind, body, and soul like nothing else. It is the way he makes you feel internally and externally, leaving you breathless and enraptured with his every action. It is the subtle gestures and simple things he does that make your heart skip a beat and your breathing come to a halt. However, you must also read between the lines and understand the depth of your feelings toward him," she says, placing her hand on mine which was shaking.