Written Among The Stars.

Chapter 20 - Decisions

Two days later following that night, Haneen was all healthy and well again and Aaban couldn't ask for anything else. He was over the moon, seeing her back on her feet.

She was on leave for today so she called her mother because she was missing her.

"How are you now, mera bacha? [my baby] How's your health? Are you eating well?"

"I am good, Mumma. How's everyone at home? Yousaf, Hana, you, baba?"

"Everyone is good. We all are missing you so much, meri jaan. [my life]"

"I miss you too, Mumma. I will come soon to meet all of you."

"Hanie, there's a good news for you." Her mother spoke excitedly.

"What?" Haneen was surprised.

"You are gonna be an aunt soon." She could feel her mother smiling widely behind the phone. Haneen couldn't believe her ears. She squealed excitedly.

"Really? Mumma?"

"Yes, really. Come soon so we can celebrate."

"Yes, I will surely drop by today or tomorrow itself. I am so excited. I can't believe this. This is the best news ever."

Haneen was ecstatic hearing about this wonderful news. She couldn't believe that her brother and her best friend were going to become parents soon. However, she felt a tinge of sadness in her heart thinking how she and Aaban could never get there. They could be civil towards each other atleast if not that close.

Aaban was sitting in his office after the office hours. He couldn't bring himself to go home and face her again. Everytime, he saw her face, his heart broke. He thought about the previous days when she was so sick. He had promised himself not to make her cry anymore and so he thought about how he was going to behave with her from now onwards and decided to give her some space and be civil with her.

He came home late after dinner time, thinking that she would be asleep by now and he wouldn't have to face her but to his surprise she was waiting for him in their room.

"I wanted to ask you something." She spoke as he took out his night dress from the cupboard.

"Hmm." He mumbled without turning back.

"Are you avoiding me?" She asked, curiously. "Is something wrong?"

"No, why?"

"You always come home late. I don't think there's much work at the office. I don't know why do you stay there for such a long time then."

He still didn't turn around to face her. He tensed as she spoke to him like that. He wanted to tell her that she was right. He was avoiding her but not because she did something. Only because he was ashamed to face her.

"Do you despise me so much that you have to spend the entire day at the office just so that you won't be able to see me?" She further asked. "You told me that day that you didn't hate me. But I can't think of any other reason for your actions. You hate me so much that you don't want to be near me even."

He still didn't answer. He just turned around and saw her heart broken face.

"You said that you didn't care about me. Why were you there beside me in the past week then? You could've stayed in your office only. You are confusing me. I can't seem to understand you."

In the past week, Haneen had noticed something unusual. Although, she wasn't fully conscious but the way Aaban stayed with her and cared for her made her believe that there was something hidden beneath his cold heart and she had to dig deeper now. She needed to find the answers to all her questions herself. Otherwise she wouldn't be at peace at all.

"Atleast answer me?" She continued. "Or do I not deserve your answers even?"

Aaban continued to just stare at her blankly. He really didn't have the answers this time.

"I'm tired of pretending that I am happy when I am not. I am tired of lying to my parents and your mother all the time. I am tired of everything. I am exhausted, Aaban. With every hardship comes ease. It's Allah's promise but there's no ease in my life. There are only hardships. I am not strong enough anymore to go through all of this alone."

He couldn't take it anymore so he went inside the wardrobe to change. Her innocent complains and her confession ate him up with guilt. He was already feeling so bad for her and her words pierced right through his heart.

He went inside the washroom to take a shower. After a while, he came out rubbing the towel in his hair in order to dry them when his eyes fell on the sleeping beauty. She was already asleep after her emotional outburst. He didn't know when his lips tugged upwards as he saw her - that was her aura. She could make him smile without even trying. After a tiring day in office, it was all that he needed. He had been in his office for 14 hours today, thinking about his life and taking some important decisions although there wasn't much work load.

The air conditioner was on. She moved around uncomfortably in her sleep and curled herself up into a ball, rubbing her arms. He looked around searching for something. She was feeling cold. He went to the wardrobe and took out a duvet from the cupboard. He went to her and carefully placed it on top of her. She immediately clutched it with her hands and spread it all over her body. He had accidentally touched her arms in the process and they were dead cold. He grabbed the remote for the AC and turned it off to make her comfortable. He laid beside her and kept gazing at her as if she were the star in his dark sky. It was his routine, staring at her, praying for her and silently apologizing to her until he fell asleep.