I know that I
Messed up.
I do this every time . . .
So many times this has happened, and
So many times I push people away . . .
Yes, I admit that I pushed you away. It's so
Obvious. You knew before I realized it myself . . .
Understand that it's something I do . . .
For reasons that I don't want to explain.
Only I know what
Runs through my mind. Only I understand why I do the things I do . . .
God, I just didn't want you to hate me.
I didn't mean to upset you . . . But the
Very thing I try not to do, I can't help but do all the time.
Every time, I do it . . . It's just how
My brain works. How I get by . . . You might think I didn't feel anything, but the more I feel, the more I try to be
Emotionless . . . Yet a thousand emotions run through me, and it becomes too much . . .
Please, I can't stand being apart from you . . . You're
Litterally all I have right now. Well, had. I managed to push
Everyone
Away. I want so badly to have to back. I should have tried harder to make you
Stay . . . But I wouldn't allow myself to do it. I guess I'll just have to get use to the pain. Hopefully it'll get
Easier with time.~
