Eye of the Storm

-> rewind pt. ii

Forgetting Will's existence for a moment, he squeezes my hand because he felt so uncomfortable with me and Bradley fighting.

I turned to Will. "Hey, do you want to watch that movie, or just go home, it's kinda late." I gave him an out, knowing my argument with Bradley could get ugly.

"I can leave now, and we can talk at school next week." Will dropped a kiss on my cheek, and I swore Bradley almost burst open a vein. "Bye Rachel."

"Bye Will!" I called out to him.

Then I spun to Bradley.

"Why did you do that?" I practically yell at him, as I hear Will's car is long gone.

"Do what?" Bradley asks innocently.

"You know what." My face is bright red, so I take a breath, "Have you seen your mama yet?"

"Yeah I did. First thing I did after I got home."

"Good. And did she tell you that I had Prom tonight?"

"She might've mentioned it."

"And you still came over to ruin it?" I asked him.

"Ruin it?" He stands to join me. "I just saved you!" Bradley claims.

I gave him a blank stare.

Bradley looks mad. I've never seen him this mad. "What, were you going to invite him to stay the night and lose your—"

"Heavens no! I was not going to do that, I don't like Will that way!" I mentally gag.

"He's a guy, and you brought him to your house, alone. What was he supposed to think?" Bradley chastised me.

I'm trying not to lose it, but with Bradley, all my reasoning is thrown out the door. "Is that the only reason guys are interested in me, because I'm easy or something? Tell me Bradley, what are you trying to say? Do you really think so low of guys?"

"No! You're too good for them. And yes, I do think so low of guys, I'm one of them!!" He yells.

As if I hadn't noticed.

"You didn't even know him." I say, referring to Will.

"I didn't have to." He says.

A quiet anger has reached the house.

"Then why are you still here?" I ask Bradley.

His face scrunched up in confusion. "What?"

"You're alone in a house with a girl. That means if you're like every other guy, you should go."

"Rach, you're different."

"Different how?"

"We've known each other for years." He huffs out.

"Okay and? I've known Will since middle school. How is that any different?"

"You know what I mean!"

"I don't know what you mean! How should I know, you ignored me for months!"

He looks hurt at this statement. Bradley's only excuse is, "Sorry, I was busy."

"And I understood that! That didn't mean it hurt. I moved on, okay?"

Bradley came back for me... as promised, but only after not hearing from him in a year.

"Moved in from what?" Bradley asks me.

"Nothing," I say quickly, too quickly. He didn't know about my crush on him.

Bradley tries to move his hands through his hair, a nervous tick he always had, but with his shorter hair, it doesn't have the same effect. "Did you just forget about me or something?"

I tried to.

I roll my eyes, "What, I could ask you the exact same thing."

"Then why did you take him to Prom?"

So this is what it's really about.

"Who else would I ask? You were gone. You sent your last letter last October, you—"

"You remembered?"

"Of course I did, we were best friends." Tears make their way to my eyes, but I hold them back.

"Were? What are we now then?"

"I don't know. You tell me, Bradshaw."

He takes a couple of steps towards me, and I back away until I hit a wall. He takes his hand and brushes one of my curls behind my ears.

He's close. Too close. My face is red and my heart is pounding.

I don't feel this way around Will.

"Rachel." He says, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Bradley." I nod.

We kiss.

I push him back.

"No! You can't just come back, and play with my feelings like this. You can't." Tears start streaming down my face.

"Rach I didn't mean—"

"Then what did you mean? I can't stop everything and then kiss you like it's nothing. I liked you Bradley! For years!"

"Rachel I—"

"No, you don't get to interrupt me. You didn't respond to me for months, and I finally moved on. And you knew, you had to have known I liked you. Now you show up, almost two years later, and you decide to kiss me. Do you even like me? Or is it because I'm convenient? You are a boy after all." I say, using his own words against him.

"Rachel, I like you too. I do, but... we can't be together." He takes my hands in his.

"That's what I thought." I said in fake anger, taking my hands from him, and wrapping them around me in the chilly, empty house.

"Its it's not that I don't want to, but I'll be gone for a while. I'll come back for you." He promises.

There's been too many broken promises in my life.

"Don't." I say adamantly.

"What?"

I can't wait for you forever, Bradley, I get to have a life of my own. I have dreams. Do you even want to know what I want to do in life?" I test him.

"I don't— I don't remember."

"Of course you don't. Just go Bradshaw."

"Rach."

"Don't call me that. Just go." I start crying harder now.

He gets mad, really mad, he grabs his coat and leaves me behind.

Before he goes to slam the front door, I yell at him, "Tell your mom I said thank you."

He nods and leaves me all alone.

I was supposed to be happy, and have fun tonight.

I grabbed a pack of my father's alcohol and drink my feelings away.

★★★

As I recap the past, Phoenix says, "That's a lot to process."

"Trust me, I know." I say, "I know."