High C

9. Bread and Butter

DeeDee couldn't believe it. She accepted it was not some sort of joke, but she still couldn't believe it. Natasha engaged to some guy named Bob? And bringing him home for Christmas no less?

She had a thousand questions when Natasha phoned with the news, but her sister seemed to be taking some sneaky pleasure in not answering them in any great detail. She said she wanted everything to be a surprise. She said once the family met him, they'd understand instantly why Bob was the only possible man for her. DeeDee tried suggesting drinks before the big visit so that Bob might not feel so overwhelmed. It was partly at their mother's desperate urging for some crumb of information about the whirlwind romance, but even more so because DeeDee could not imagine a man erasing Rodney so completely from Natasha's mind when she was still so upset about Kurt that she'd sworn men off completely. At least until the New Year, or so she estimated.

Now, with four more sleeps till Christmas, she kept watch at the large front window of their parents' home, waiting for lights of a strange car to pull up, or, to hear Natasha vaguely speak of how much money Bob came from, for the wind of a private helicopter to blow all the snow from the driveway onto the neighbour's lawns. She so wanted to be happy for her sister. She just needed to be convinced she should be.

"Let me know when you see anything," her mother reminded her for the ninetieth time as she popped in and out of the kitchen where she was preparing a welcome dinner.

"They'll get here when they get here," her father said. "Why's it such a big deal?"

"I'd say getting you two to approve of a fiancé is humongous deal," DeeDee said.

"Yeah, well it's your mother who wants you to get married. I'd be fine if you two wanted to stay single forever, but since neither of you is the spinsterly type, I'll be damned if some lazy smooth-talker's gonna luck into what I've worked my whole life for. Can you imagine that guy she was dating running the family business? Looked like a shaved horse."

"You can't mean Rodney," DeeDee laughed.

"No, he wasn't too bad. The other one. Never trust a man who can't pull his lips over his teeth."

"Or pointy women!" Alexis yelled from the dining room.

"It's true," Alvin concurred.

"Pointy women," DeeDee snorted. "What shape am I, Dad?"

"You and your sister are both my sweethearts."

"And me?" her mother asked.

"You're a diamond, my dove. Now both of you stop yakking and come watch Scrooge. It's almost at the part where you can see the cameraman in the mirror."

DeeDee instead went back to her post. Finally, two spotlights hit the street, slowly leading the way for a dark car which stopped for a moment before turning onto the immense driveway. For the excitement it caused, it might as well have been Santa in his sleigh having missed the roof.

"They're here!" DeeDee called out, feeling strangely nervous. Her mother came flying out of the dining room hurrying to put on her house heels. Her father got up reluctantly, with the ejection lever on his recliner only willing to help so much. Rather than open the door, they all just sort of stood near the entrance as though waiting to greet a dignitary. That way, later, no one in particular could be held responsible for letting whatever might be approaching to enter.

Sure they would be watched from the window, Natasha told Bob to be in character the moment they stepped foot out of the car. He'd tried on many annoying personas for size, but he had to pretend to be someone Natasha could believably claim to have fallen for. That meant no bigots or hygienically challenged mountain men. He leaned towards a charming chauvinist for a while, then leaned into a barely sufferable know-it-all for a bit. He toyed with being a mama's boy, the world's biggest bore, and a tragic sort of sad sack. After a couple of weeks of talking to himself wherever he went, sometimes in accents, he'd decided to put several of his best bits in a cartoon car salesman's cocktail shaker and go with whatever flow poured out. "As long as he's the wealthiest guy on the lot," Natasha had said, "go for it."