CANCELLED! (A Cookie Run Crackfic)

Prologue: A Legendary Cookie With too Much Free-Time

"MAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA" the sounds of maniacal laughter and aggressive typing from a 2017 Acer laptop were heard from some sort of volcanic home. There, inside the volcanic home, was a cookie with orange dough and flames on his head that resembled hair, who's voice sounded oddly similar to Plankton from the hit 1999 cartoon: SpongeBob SquarePants created by Steve Hillenburg. "Man, I LOVE surfing the web!" Said the cookie. "There's so much interesting things on the internet! YouTube cooking tutorials, the recent news, celebrity gossip, TikTok trends, Wind Archer appreciation day- WIND ARCHER APPRECIATION DAY?!?!?" he stopped to then glance at his screen once more, it was a trending hashtag on twitter called, well, #windarcherappreciationday. He was appalled. "WIND ARCHER COOKIE??? THAT LOUSY GREEN LOSER GETS HIS OWN DAY!?!?" he slammed his fist on his desk, taking out his anger. "I don't understand! Why is HE so popular?! I'm WAY cooler, stronger, and hotter (pun intended) than that lazy, good for nothing twerp! And he gets his OWN DAY?!" he exclaimed. "I, the great Fire Spirit Cookie, will NOT stand for this!"

"Hey Dad, do you know where the charger to the Nintendo Switch is?" Asked a much younger voice. "Not now, Devil Cookie." Said Fire Spirit Cookie. "I'm kinda going through an emotional crisis right now." Devil Cookie was an abandoned child playing with sticks and killing bugs outside of Fire Spirit's backyard, so he adopted them, this was several years ago. "Ugh, fine, I'll go find it myself." Devil Cookie wined. "Don't get the cables tangled!" Fire Spirit added. He sighed. "Wind Breaker Cookie has so many followers on social media, and in real life. Everytime he passes by the retail workers in the local Walmart, they wave. The cookie citizens love him so much, they painted his face onto the side walk of Choco Street. They even renamed a newly discovered species of dinosaur after him: WindAchersaurus!" He said with a hint of anger in his voice. "It's not fair! Why don't I get that much attention?....I..I wish I had friends..." The anger in his voice started to slightly fade into sadness, which then turned into an annoyed tone once he looked back at his screen. "Oh, look, he's verified too...Why hasn't anyone cancelled him yet? Wait, THAT'S IT!" He then chuckled to himself menacingly. "I think I have a plan...."