Always Been You - An EsZan AU / Aşk Mantık Intikam

Chapter 12

All through the week Esra checked in on Ozan via texts. He was always polite and responsive but never really contributed more to their conversation or made any effort at friendly chatter. 

By Friday her mind was a hot mess of anxiety, jealousy, sadness, apprehension, and whole host of other emotions she didn't want to name. 

The one thing she knew was that she missed him. Missed his easy smile at her little jokes, missed the way his eyes darkened every time she was close enough to peer into them, missed the concern in his voice and the protectiveness of his arms whenever he thought she was in trouble, missed the intelligent and the irrelevant conversations they had about anything and everything. And yes, missed the touch of his lips, the brush of his scruff against her soft cheek, the warmth of his skin against hers. Somewhere in the deep recesses of her brain she knew that these emotions had a name, but she pushed the notion away with a vengeance. 

She was back from the office a little early on Friday, and she found her thoughts drifting to his dinner with Sema. Damn that woman for chasing after him unrelentingly and damn Ozan for moving on so seamlessly.  Esra let out a soft scream of frustration. 

She would bake - that was always a good distraction! She found herself making a chocolate cake, the one that Ozan loved, the very same kind that her mom made for his 13th birthday when Zumrut Teyze had brought home some store-bought snacks to celebrate, and her mom wanted him to have something homemade and special. He had devoured that cake in a single sitting. 

So yeah, she was making that cake.

She was done by 7:30 and gave in to the urge to drop it off at his place. She still had his key, he would definitely already have left for his date, she would sneak in, leave the cake on his counter and sneak out - no harm no foul. It had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that she had heard that the way to a man's heart was through his stomach. Nope nothing to do with that at all.

She knocked cursorily on his door, confident that he was out, then turned the key quietly in the lock. She entered his apartment, surprised that the lights were still on. Huh, that was unlike him. She walked to the kitchen and placed the cake carefully on the counter. 

"Esra??"

She screamed, almost knocking over the cake, her hand flying to her chest, her feet stumbling over itself as she tried to run, or hide, or just disappear.

He was beside her in an instant, his hands on her elbows to steady her, pulling her against his chest in the process. "Esra? ne yapıyorsun burada?"

His breath was on her cheek again, and she closed her eyes briefly trying to catch her breath. Ah, it felt good to be in his arms, so damn good...

"Cake," she said breathlessly, "I made cake, your favorite kind, I wanted to drop it off." She dangled his extra key at him, "I still have your key, I meant to return it today as well.."

He stared at her for a beat, his eyes dark and confused, his brows furrowed. "Yeah, you should probably leave the key with me," he said finally, looking away from her and missing the brief downward drop of her lips at his words. 

"Sen ne yapıyorsun burada?" She said indignantly - because going on the offense was always her best defense.

"Ne??" he looked genuinely puzzled.

"You have a date with Sema!" Her eyes swept over him briefly, " and you're all dressed up. You're even wearing a tie! You must be taking her to a fancy place, right? Why are you still here? You don't want to be late, hadi hadi."

He didn't want to tell her that he had no plans for the evening and had just walked in from work a little while ago, and was wearing a tie because he had a presentation with a new partner. In fact he'd only barely had time to loosen his tie before he found her in his kitchen and she'd kick-started his heart rate like only she could.

She tugged at his tie, "You're tie is loose, you don't want to go on your fancy date looking like that. Here let me fix it for you."

She fixed the knot, and tightened it closer to his neck, then fixed his collar, unintentionally getting close to his face. She looked up and saw him watching her, his eyes fixed on her open mouth, his breath heavy, the desire in his eyes unmistakable.

"Ozan.." She found herself inching closer to him, her lips begging for contact, every nerve ending on alert. She gave in to her need and reached up on her toes, closing the distance between their lips.

 She didn't want him to go, she wanted him to stay here, with her. 

The "gitme" in her brain, slipped quietly from her lips just before she planted her mouth on his. 

He stiffened for the briefest moment, then opened his mouth and devoured her - tasting and drinking her in like starving man on his first and last meal . She returned his kiss with equal ardor, her fingers lacing through his hair, her body straining and pressing against him, wanting to touch and be touched. His fingers slipped under her shirt, the first graze against her bare skin drawing a gasp from both of them. He ran his hands over her body - hungry, greedy. His thumb flicked the underside of her breast and she let out a soft moan, "please..."

Her voice snapped him out of his stupor. Why was she here? Was it because she thought he was going on a date? Did she only want him because she thought she couldn't have him? She was physically drawn to him, he knew that much, but what if that was all there was? He wanted so much more, and he simply could not settle for less - not again. 

"You shouldn't be here.." he said, his voice suddenly cold and brittle.

"I..." she looked at him, her eyes hurt and filling with tears. "Ozan, I..."

"What Esra? You what? " he asked wearily. He was tired of the games, tired of protecting his heart. 

"I think..." she stared at him, her eyes cloudy, a slight tremble to her lips, her fingers tightening around his wrist before she let go and shook her head causing a stray tear to spill onto her cheek. 

"You're right, I should go.."

She left the key on his kitchen counter and ran out of the house, even as he called after her. 

Loud thunder rattled in the sky and he heard the sound of the first heavy drops of rainfall against his windows. 

She would surely get wet. Ah Esra ah! He ran after her, catching her just as she walked into the street, uncaring.

He grabbed her wrist, "Esra stop! Let me drop you home."

"I have to go, let me go... " she sobbed not bothering to hide her tears.

Something clicked inside Ozan, like his world had straightened on its axis, like the skies had cleared, and he could see perfectly even through the pouring rain. 

She had come to him. She had put aside her fears and her apprehensions, and kissed him....and he had chased her away.

"Esra..." he pulled her to him. This was it, his last chance, and damned if he was going to let her go without a fight.  

He cradled her face in his large hands, finding hope in the fact that she didn't pull away. "I love you Esra, I always have. I think you have feelings for me too. You..you look at me like I look at you. 

Please Esra," he begged, "give us a chance." 

He drew her closer, his lips hovering over hers, his eyes pleading. "Bu sefer gitme...gitme..." 

He pressed his lips to hers.

She dropped her purse and lifted her hands to his face with a sob, kissing him back with a sweetness that filled his very soul. 

They drew apart after an eternity, and he soaked in her shiny eyes and the beatific smile on her rain-drenched face. She had never looked more beautiful to him. He would carry a snapshot of this moment in his mind for eternity.

"I'm willing to wait.." he said finally, not wanting to rush her and scare her away. "I know you don't feel the same way I ..."

She shushed him with a finger to his lips. "I love you Ozan Korfali, more than you even know."

Notes ( 2022-06-23)

If you are not picturing that epic rain kiss as you read this, then I've done something wrong :) Nothing will ever top the beauty of that scene. 

Just one more chapter to go. I do hope you've enjoyed reading this story as much as I enjoyed writing it.