I'm losing it.
Doubting.
Scaring myself.
I hate hate hate hate hate
I hate most things.
It's so easy to hate.
My crazy is turned up
To eleven.
For a few hours
I have the mentality
Of me on a really bad day.
I want to yell.
I want to break something.
Me
Me
Me me me me
I want to break me
Make the cracks spread even further until I shatter. I want to grind the shards into dust.
Shut up.
Everything is so annoying.
I hate it all.
I can't feel my legs.
It would be so damn easy.
Shut
Up
Can you even comprehend the feeling of your head splitting apart? Part of you wants to end everything and everyone including yourself while the other knows everything you're saying is insane and you need help.
I want to shut up.
So shut up.
I can feel my legs.
They hurt.
Surely hitting them will help.
It hurts so much.
I can't get sad.
Sad equals bad.
I do not live by those words.
I'm really sad.
It hurts so damn much.
I want to cut my legs off.
I don't want to be awake.
I just want to be happy.
Why the hell do I have to try so hard to keep myself from being happy?
Why do my actions contradict my words?
Why do they both contradict my thoughts?
I want to rip out my eyes.
This is why I don't need caffeine.
Energy is bad for me.
I need to stay depressed but too tired to kill myself.
