Captured

Running

I peep to the top left corner of my phone. 3:55 am. I haven't slept a wink. I just want all of this to be over with. I want to be happy in a somewhat normal life with a man that genuinely loves me, I want the happy marriage, kids, the businesses, i want my fairytale ending.

I can't help but wonder if this is my payback for all the time I pretended to be sick so i could skip church -it didn't work but still- is this payback for all the little white lies I've told or the times i rolled my eyes and mumbled after a scolding from my parents? Is this my karma? Or am I just bad-lucked?

How do i pack up and go home single and brokenhearted after i just spent days convincing the people i love that i was in a happy relationship, or that i would be getting married soon? Great, another reason for them to pity me.

If I'm going home i need to go back with proof that I didn't come here to waste time, that it wasn't all for nothing.
I need to get to work.

8:25 am
"Hey, you're back?"

"Yeah, i thought id get an earlier jump start on the day since I've been gone"

"Well can i get a hug?, what did you bring back for me?" Ashanti asks as she sets her bag on the counter and walks closer towards me.

"The only thing i brought back is myself so...."

"No offense but.... no thank you"

Ashanti and i spend the next hour or so going over what business has been like since i left. I retired to the production room hoping to get something done today im in no mood to pretend as if I'm okay.

11:10 am
I just need someone to talk to. I can't keep dealing with all of this by myself, she's my best friend. I need her.

"Hey Mrsssssss" she shrieks as soon as the phone line opens
"Hey babe, how are you?"
"Im okay, tryna get my day started.."
"Oh, thats good"
"Yeah, so what's up?"
"Ummm, so me just wah

I try speaking but my speech becomes obstructed, Truth is I can't tell her, the only persons that needs to know about all of this, already does, i love Yanique and i trust her but she just wouldn't get it

"Yes ma'am"
"Me just a tell uh say- say-say"
"Seh wah? Yaa break up"

"Tell uh say me love youuuu"
"That's it? I love you too "
"Yes, that's it, I know being at home with not much to do can get a little crazy"

7 pm
That was a day. I need a bottle of wine and a long bath. Truthfully? I've checked my phone more than a trillion timeS to see if Danny has reached out but he hasn't and after what happened the last time he went MIA on me, i don't think he will.

Its f$&ked up, that were probably in the same building and he doesn't even try to talk to me. Im not reaching out to his mother again, its not her responsibility, this is on us, on him.

I still wonder though, does he miss me?

//
It's been three days and I haven't seen or heard from Daniel. Spencer still picks me up and drops me off daily, i still live in his gigantic penthouse, my card still works and immigration hasn't come knocking at my door so at least I know he doesn't hate me that much to take all those privileges away.