I am not a housewife
Hidden away in a white picket dream
Choked by an apron and a baby bump
I am wearing black to pride
And buzzing my hair to the scalp
I am a lesbian that wants love
I want love in the way sapphic cottagecore fairies raced through a garden
And slept together under the stars
I want love in the way Achilles and Patroclus interlaced so perfectly together
Their bones and ashes mixed and left for historians.
And yet
I feel myself being lost
To expectations of being skin tight
and shiny plastic
For men
Men who destroy
Who steal
Who gawk and alter
Who's only gaze is worth being looked at
They made me forget her
I forgot the way my cheeks flushed when she looked my direction
Or how her breathing would soften when she fell asleep on my arm
I forgot her scarlet heart pumping against my chest when we danced in the rain and ran from those who called our love sinful to a room full of sinners
They made me miss her.
I miss her butterflies in my ribs and the aching she left in my heart. I miss the twinkle she took from the stars and placed in my eyes and the echo of her laugh in my brain
I long for her
Everything about her
But her fingers will never be mine to place a silver band on
And her heart will never legally be mine to love.
