Smile my dear! (Alastor x fem! Reader)

15- unloveable?

Alastor's P.O.V

''WHY AM I SO UPSET ABOUT THIS?' I thought to myself.
The look of pure unrivalled malice spread across her face had stained my mind. Being upset was an irregular occurrence for me. I've never been hurt by anyone before, let alone (y/n), whom I kept on a pedestal in my mind. Acknowledging that she was truly different from all the other demons in hell.

(Y/n) triumphed over her enemies and always came out victorious, yet, she was also a kind soul who was able to form deep emotional bonds with even the most questionable of folks, And that is what I respect most about her.

But, those harsh final words were still fresh in my skull ringing around like church bells on a Sunday. 'Maybe you can love. But you, my good sir, are unloveable.'

'Unloveable' I thought to myself. I recalled everything I had done for her, images of her fragile, crying form as she fell asleep on my chest.

'I've done so much for her, And this is how she repays me? She should be thanking me for not killing her at her weakest moment.' my thoughts had started to become irrational and aggressive. 'Alastor. You know better.' I mentally slapped myself for thinking such brash things.

I sat down on my couch and once again remembered the day she fell asleep in my arms. 'Sometimes I wish you were still in my arms mon amour,' I sighed out to myself. admittedly, I haven't been able to sleep very well when she wasn't with me. That month was the best in my afterlife, no amount of killings could reach the bliss she gave me. After that dinner I wanted her to stay. She did, but not forever.

Sometimes I wish she had.

'What does this mean?'

'Surely this can't be love? Maybe it's just she reminds me of my mother, right? It can't be!
There's no way I am in love. (y/n) said it herself, I am unlovable.

Good god, Alastor! Get. yourself. together! Nobody must see you like this.'

Narrator P.O.V

Even after several mental scoldings, Alastor had still found his thoughts running back to one thing. 'Do I love (y/n)?' The thought lived in his head rent-free as if it owned his precious mind-space. Alastor hoped it wasn't true, like some kind of sickness or a cold, it would go away. eventually, if he ignored it enough and continued sulking. The evergrowing infatuation with you had Alastor's head spinning and his cheeks flushing pink, standing out like a sore thumb because of his pale ass skin. Alastor's smile grew to a genuine one after realizing he was truly in love with you, and denying it was no longer a choice.

Meanwhile, you were doing the only thing that felt right to her at the moment, Which was various men and women all while chugging an unholy amount of alcohol. Angel, of course, was cheering you on like the good bestie he is.  You told Angel that you wanted to drown out your sorrows Angel said: "say no more bitch!" and dragged you to the strip club/porn studio Angel works at ( getting V.I.P passes from Valentino because vox threatened him to do so (( he may or may not have a crush on (y/n))).

Yay! New chapter! Here's a cursed photo on the house! (tw! Graphic image ahead!)

Ily guys and enjoy!

Daily question whats better? Monster or bang energy? (The red monster is so good😫)