Gravity Falls: Rewritten!

Chapter 7: Pseudonym

'STAN PINES DEAD'

That was the headline in today's Oregon newspaper. It was the talk of the town for a few hours, and now some people have come to express their sympathy and condolences. The body wasn't found, said the police. "Must've been burned down with the fire", so there wasn't a funeral to attend to.

"You really did it," Y/n says to Stan, who is busy staring at a particular section of the newspaper. "You managed to sell it to everyone. You're an absolute natural."

"Hey, you gotta learn how to give yourself some credit, kid," he replies, chuckling as he flips to the next page. "Heh, take a look at this!"

He basically shoves the newspaper to her face. She has to lean back to read the section properly. It was a picture of a man in a square frame. Y/n glances back to Stan's smirk before reverting to the photograph. It is unmistakably him, with the words, 'GRIFTER AT LARGE' beneath it. Her brows furrow slightly after quickly reading the paragraph.

"Shouldn't we be worried?"

"Nah," he says, waving a hand dismissively. "I'm Stanford, remember? And Stanley is dead, so we ain't gotta worry about nothing!"

Double negative but sure.

Y/n leaves it at that, looking a little uneasy. Stan certainly notices it, pointing it out. "Hey, you look like we just murdered someone in cold blood- hey! That's a good name."

"What?"

"'The Murder Hut!'" Stan bellows with a sound as if he is waiting for her approval. "Come on, you like it."

"Wouldn't that be suspicious as heck?" she utters, crossing her arms and leaning back to her chair. "And you think people would buy merchandise with names like- I don't know – murder hat? Murder box?"

"Let's just try it out! Come on, I got wooden planks that need some signs." Stan stands up, walks outside and begins hammering signs.

Y/n shakes her head at him, but she has a smile on her face. He brightens the room and is eager to turn the lab around. Although she initially opposed touching her and Ford's research, she knows that without proper income, they will starve and die, and this is Stan's way of earning money, so she has no choice but to support him.

***

PLAY THEME SONG

***

"Step right up, ladies and gentlemen! Step right up!" Stan takes his place in front of the audience. Some are locals, while others are visitors because Y/n has never seen these people before. The word must have spread to other neighboring cities.

Stan is a natural, just like she said. His skills at deception and trickery are finally paying off, literally. Each person's fifteen dollars all end up in his hands. Some may tip more based on how entertained they were, and boy, were they entertained.

All of the creatures Stan glued together reminded Y/n of the carnival to which the three went. She reaches for her daisy necklace, which was still dangling around her neck, and her thoughts return to Ford. She can't help but chuckle when she remembers her and Ford being unimpressed by the chicken duct-taped to a silver back gorilla.

She observes how people are drawn to the various displays of Ford's research and Stan's paraphernalia. Of course, he didn't want to tell the truth, so he had to make up a story about a completely fictitious creature. Nonetheless, customers bought it.