Faulty Eyes | Sam Winchester

chapter nine | guilt shows up in many forms

One month.

It had been one month since Ava Wilson was taken by the demon in her own home, and the four hunters remained in Peoria, Illinois in hopes of finding her. But while Dean, Sam, and Danielle worked around the clock together for any leads, Juniper kept to herself as she did some digging with the case every now and then, though at times she had to stop whenever she was about to break down and cry again over it.

While she felt terrible for not helping out more with finding Ava, there was an aching feeling that wouldn't go away just by seeing her face on the missing poster. She was already having a hard time just getting out of bed in the morning just thinking about that night, and she wondered if the guilt would drive her crazy soon.

Fortunately, Ellen called Sam about a potential case in Cornwall, Connecticut, which Dean and Danielle agreed to go with Sam being so eager about checking it out. In a way, Juniper was grateful that they were about to leave Peoria and focus on something else that didn't involve Ava. Juniper knew it was awful to think that way, but she couldn't help it for her own sake.

For the first time since the girls met, Danielle offered to let Juniper drive, hoping to help get her mind off of what was going on. Juniper, surprised by the offer, decided to accept it, seeing as the last time she actually drove a car was when she was in Baltimore. When they were getting close to reaching their destination, Danielle was shuffling through the note Sam wrote down for her one last time to make sure she hadn't missed anything.

"Okay, so we got two freak accidents in the past three weeks at this hotel in Cornwall," she said, looking down at Sam's notes. We got a lady drowning in the bathtub, then a guy fell down the stairs with his head completely turned around..." Danielle groaned, rubbing the back of her neck. "That hurts just thinking about someone's head doing that."

"Yeah," was all Juniper responded with, her eyes still on the road.

Danielle was quiet for a moment, then let out a sigh. "Junie--"

"If you're going to ask me if I'm okay--"

"I'm just worried about you after what happened," she said. "Dean and Sam are worried, too."

"I know," she replied.

"You can talk to me about it, you know," she informed the brunette driving. "Hell, you can talk to me about anything. I won't tell the boys or anyone else. It'll stay between us, I promise."

Juniper slowly turned to briefly look at Danielle, who had a reassuring expression on her face that made Juniper believe Danielle meant what she said. With not being able to talk to Nancy constantly like she used to, Juniper found it nice to have Danielle to confide in while always on the road. But as much as she enjoyed Danielle's company, she still couldn't replace Nancy.

"I just wish that I could've done more to help Ava and Brady," she confessed. "Maybe if I hadn't stepped outside to call Sam, then maybe Ava wouldn't be missing and Brady might still be..." She couldn't finish the sentence, stopping herself before she thought about all the failed ways she tried to save him that night.

"You did all that you could," Danielle assured her. "And like Dean said before, if you had been inside the house when Yellow Eyes showed up--"

"I don't need the reminder, Dani," Juniper cut her off in a bitter tone.

"Look, you can't keep carrying around this guilt, especially when none of it was your fault." Danielle paused, letting out a sigh. "One thing you need to know about being a hunter is that you can't let a bad case weigh you down. It happens to all of us."

"And how exactly do I not let it weigh me down?"

"We all have our different ways of doing it."

Juniper rolled her eyes. "That's really helpful, thanks," she replied sarcastically.