Best Served Fake

thirty-one // purple tutu

"Aurora Anderson told me that Cameron saw you and Kai making out in the Horny Corny," said Cora, making a face. She dumped her lunchbox on the table, climbing into the seat between Jamie and Will, making a face. "The Horny Corny, Valerie. Over the console and everything."

Cora did not like the Horny Corny. This was unsurprising, as Cora wasn't exactly fond of many things involving teenage debouchery, but she had a special hatred for the school's infamous hook-up corner. She had a moral objection to the name, which she called both 'ridiculous' and 'disgusting', a fact that was true, but she also hated it because she was the first one to get her license in our year, and she'd famously taken Todd Cohen there at the start of term. Which wouldn't have been embarrassing, really, except that the make out had lasted for roughly four seconds before Cora had pulled away and promptly decided she never wanted a repeat. Before Todd told the entire year level that she'd banged him in the back seat. No one believe him, because, well, it was Cora, but Cora was still humiliated by the encounter.

Not that she had any objections when Tommy and I had used the spot, or when Sydney had taken half the year level there, sometimes in my car. Cora was more of the silent judgement type; she had mastered the superior look.

"Really?" said Jamie, perking up at Cora's words and the prospect of gossip. "Rachel Heath told me that she was straddling him in the passenger seat and they were going at it like two religious kids deciding that dry humping doesn't count."

"Is that offensive?" Seb inquired, looking up from his salad—the same pre-made supermarket type as mine—to rest his chin on his hand. He pointed at Jameson with his fork. "I don't know if that's offensive, but I think it might be."

Jameson shrugged. He seemed to enjoy saying things that might be slightly controversial, but somehow managed to toe the line enough that everyone liked him for it anyway.

"Jack told me that they banged in the back seat," said Will. Cora and Jameson turned to to stare at him, gaping, while he raised a burrito to his mouth. When he noticed, he put the burrito down, meeting their stares with a roll of his eyes. "Well, obviously I didn't believe him."

Three sets of eyes swivelled to me. I was avoiding their gaze, staring down at my salad and poking experimentally at my lettuce with a fork.

"Should I have?" Will said.

I looked up. The four of them blinked owlishly, curious. "I'm with Seb, Jamie. Not sure how it's offensive, but feel like it might be."

Seb looked mollified, Cora looked horrified and Jamie was laughing. "Yo, you fucked Delaney in the Horny Corny? Damn, Williams, I would not have picked that from you. A secret wildcat. High five."

He held his hand up and I slapped it away. "Oh, fuck off, James. I did not."

Jameson, who was the Horny Corny's most frequent visitor, shrugged and looked slightly disappointed in us. He seemed to enjoy the whole prospect of hedonistic behaviour, even if he wasn't the one partaking. Most likely for the gossip, more than any particular investment in our sex life.

Our fake sex life.

Cora tapped my hand, seeking my attention. "So, what happened then?"

She was wide-eyed, curious. I couldn't blame her. Kai was like her brother; they'd grown up together. And I was, for all intents and purposes, her best friend. Even if I hadn't always been the best at being one. Even though I'd always picked Sydney.

I felt the heavy weight of stares; Jamie looked alert, Will curious, Seb interested.

I coughed. "Jamie's information is usually pretty accurate."