Kai: i want you to know that i am deeply embarrassed
Kai: and i will be paying you back ASAP
Valerie: embarrassment is healthy for your ego
Valerie: and don't stress about it, seriously
Valerie: but you should also probably work on your parking. step one: avoid other cars.
Kai: your advice is so insightful, thanks. will you just let me grab a notebook so i can jot down this really sage advice?
Valerie: no problem.
Valerie: ready?
Valerie: step two: don't be the shittest driver known to mankind.
Kai: well, maybe i was wiped from looking after a certain drunkard last night
Kai: which, you should probably work on holding your liquor. step one: avoid absinthe
Valerie: I HAD ABSINTHE?!
Kai: a lot of it. you told me it's the only liquor that "drowns betrayal". you also said the green was speaking to you.
Valerie: no wonder i popped a tit
Valerie: absinthe loosens my morals and my clothes. every time.
Kai: oh my
Kai: i'm blushing, little valerie
Kai: you're offending my delicate sensibilities
Valerie: oh, go clutch your pearls
Valerie: since when has kai delaney been a prude?
Kai: since he saw valerie williams' self-categorised second-best boob
Kai: which he respectfully caught only one unintentional glimpse of
Valerie: well, i need more absinthe to flash the best one. i can't just be flashing her willy nilly. it's a religious experience.
Kai: you are so weird
Valerie: hitting my car AND calling me weird, all in one day? do you have some sort of vendetta against me today
Kai: you did puke on my shoes
Valerie: well, you did smash into my car. i'm happy to buy you new shoes, if we want to keep things equal?
Kai: touché, little valerie. touché.
YOU ARE READING
Best Served Fake
Teen Fiction"Little Valerie," said Kai, bending closer to me. "Are you blackmailing me into dating you?" He didn't seem particularly disturbed by the notion. In fact, he remained completely amused. "Yes?" Kai grinned. "Very mafia of you. I'm weirdly kind of int...
