DANIEL HERON: BECOMING

30 - Do not be a hero.

Once the door closed behind sergeant Novik, Daniel released a long sigh.

Ana took a few steps towards him, looked deep into his eyes and asked, "Are you sure you'll be able to search the park on your own?"

"Yeah," Daniel replied and looked away. "It's gonna help me get my mind off of... things." He didn't have to say what exactly he meant by things.

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry." Teresa joined Ana, making him look at her.

"Why?" Daniel asked. "You didn't put it there. You just found it."

The silence covered them like a feathered blanket. There were still a couple of hours left before the dawn, so Teresa and Ana decided to go out to clear their thoughts, at least that was what they told Daniel. Had he not met them, he would have thought that they went hunting for fresh blood, but it was far more probable that they wanted to discuss their next moves in private.

Once alone, Daniel concluded it would be the wisest to lay down to rest, but sleep eluded him. Black thoughts swarmed in his mind like thunder clouds, and he knew not how to chase them away. Therefore, for the first time in several years, he prayed. Although he couldn't remember all the words, with his hands pressed together, he spoke to God. After he mumbled a prayer, he remained lying, his fingers intertwined on his chest. He was afraid to pray for healing because a part of his mind believed that he didn't deserve it.

Wait until afternoon, he finally told himself. Don't sign your own death sentence yet.

In a way, he was grateful that wandering through the park would divert his thoughts from his current medical condition. He closed his eyes. Somewhere behind them, a well-known pain was creeping. As the throbbing grew, he felt an inexplicable gratitude because he now knew what caused it.

If he managed to fall asleep, the morning would have come too soon, but Daniel only managed to doze off for short periods of time. That's when dark thoughts would take over his dreams, creating impossible scenes filled with surreal, threatening characters.

While he fought the exhausting dreams, Ana and Teresa returned. They didn't wake him, instead they retreated to their rooms.

Every time Daniel would snap out of a dream, he would look at the bottom of the curtains. It seemed as if an eternity had passed before a dim line of light appeared, a signature of the dawn.

Sergeant Novik returned not long after the sunrise, as he promised. He was wearing his uniform, but instead on his head, his police hat was in his hands.

"You don't seem to rested," he said after he observed Daniel.

He looked at the sergeant under half closed eyelids and run his hand through his ruffled hair. "You don't look much better yourself."

The sergeant nodded. "You're right about that. This whole situation chases the sleep away. Are you sure you'll be able to..."

He never finished his question because Daniel interrupted him. "Yes, I'll be able to search the park and not attract unwanted attention to myself."

"I mean because of your illness." The sergeant stared at his hat rather than at Daniel, straightening its edge. "I wouldn't want to be in your shoes."

"I wouldn't want to be in my shoes either, but it is what it is," Daniel replied with a bit too much exasperation, so in a calmer tone he added, "Shal we go?"

"Did you find a better map?" Ana's voice coming from behind them startled Daniel so much that he literally jumped.

Sergeant Novik's nerves were stronger. "I did," he responded. "I managed to find a map dating back about three hundred years. At that time, on the location of today's park was a nobleman's estate. About a hundred years ago, a fire engulfed the mansion, along with its tenants. It was never restored."